‘You sure you’re not coming in?’ He rests his glass in the holder and lies back.
‘Well, not now I’m not,’ I reply petulantly. ‘You’re naked. You have sullied the water with your dangly bits.’
‘Suit yourself.’
I walk out onto the deck and look over the lodges. Hot tubs glowing as far as the eye can see. Is everyone having fun except me? I hesitate, my heart beating rapidly as I find myself considering this.
‘Life is short, Nora.’
Shut up, Will. I down the rest of my wine. I’m doing this.
I pull down my tights and kick them off, before slipping out of my dress, just as Will looks over to see me standing in my bra and humongous tummy shaper pants. I want to die.
‘YAAASS!’ he yells, encouragingly. ‘Get those outrageous knickers in here.’
No human alive has ever entered a hot tub as quickly as I have, sinking underneath the water, hoping the bubbles will hide me from the neck down. Glancing at Will, I see that this clearly isn’t the case. God, it’s like bathing with a porn star.
If these pants weren’t tight enough when dry, they’re horrendously uncomfortable when wet. I squirm around, trying to pry them from my flesh.
‘You don’t look very relaxed.’
‘I’m fine,’ I lie, ‘All good here. Just adjusting the undies.’
‘Nora, I am aware that you have lady parts. I have seen many in my lifetime. Yes, you might get embarrassed for about six seconds until you remember that I also have my dick out and now we’re even-stevens. I won’t lay a hand on you, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
Worried?If only you knew the filth that rampaged around my head during meditation.
‘Not worried,’ I assure him. ‘I’m just not confident. I don’t even want to see me naked.’
I peel off my underwear and unhook my bra, throwing them both to the side of the tub. I’m naked in a hot tub with a man I only met three days ago. A man I’m not trying to impress. A man who doesn’t appear to want anything from me except my company.I start to tentatively relax.
‘So how is your article going? What’s your angle going to be?’
He thinks. ‘Hmm, hot tub housewife hotties perhaps? Shopping addicts gone wild?’
‘Shut up!’ I exclaim, splashing him.
‘I’m kidding! There is no angle as such. I’m here to take it all in with an open mind – just like you.’
‘And your thoughts so far?’
‘It’s strange,’ he replies, lifting his glass from the side of the tub. ‘Initially I was stunned by the level of bullshit and gullibility that goes on but…’
‘But?’
‘It’s hard to explain. I think loneliness is universal but implying the universe is behind it all, is, well,nuts. BUT I don’t think empowering people to like themselves more is ever a bad thing, nor is challenging them to let go of past bullshit. Let’s just say, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some aspects.’
‘Yes, you got to see my fat ass. Worth the admission alone.’
‘To be honest I was thinking that at yoga earlier.’
‘What, that my ass is fat?’
‘No, that it was worth the trip… Are you blushing?’
‘No, I’m just warm,’ I lie. I’m totally blushing.
He wipes stray water droplets from his face and grins. ‘Let’s play a game.’
