He slumps down on a chair and sighs, pulling on his T-shirt. ‘That was…’
‘Yeah. I know.’
‘And I don’t feel too weird about it,’ he continues. ‘Do you?’
‘A little, maybe,’ I admit. ‘But at least that’s it out of our systems, right?’
‘Right,’ he replies. ‘Job done. No big deal.’
‘Exactly.’
We sit in silence for a moment, the occasional smile passing between us.
‘You want to grab a shower?’ I ask. ‘There’s plenty of towels.’
‘After,’ he replies, getting to his feet.
‘After what?’
He stands up and holds out his hand. ‘After we do that again.’
He leads me to the bedroom, and I happily follow, but a sinking feeling pulls on my stomach.
You’re going home in three days, Nora.
Do not fall for him.
CHAPTER26
BOOTCAMP: DAY 5
‘Good morning, everyone,’ Anna chirps. ‘I hope you’re all as excited about today as we are! Tonight, we have our little soiree, so y’all better have brought your glad rags. Sally will be coming around with the menu; if you can let her know your choices and any dietary requirements before the end of the morning meeting, that would be great.’
Excited? I’m exhausted. I’d forgotten about the party tonight. I’ve had about four hours of sleep, but I’m grinning like a fool. Will left at 4am and there isn’t a part of me that wasn’t explored with his—
‘Firstly, this morning we’re going to look at how to keep your identity within a new relationship,’ Anna continues, interrupting my filthy train of thought. ‘How not to become a “we”. I see you smiling there, Nora, and looking around, I think this resonates with everyone.’
I laugh but I have no idea what she’s just said. Could have been anything. I’m too busy thinking about just how incredible last night was to care. Whoever said that men in their forties aren’t in their sexual prime has clearly never met Will. I glance at him beside me, looking even more dishevelled than ever. He doesn’t look back, but I see the dimples slowly appear on his cheeks, implying he’s thinking the same thing.
‘So, let’s begin. Take out your notepads please.’ Behind her the screen changes and the words IDENTITY SHIFT appear in bold black letters.
‘When you meet someone, you are two very separate people. You may share interests, political affiliations, sense of humour, but fundamentally you are not them and they are not you. Even in terms of twin flames – they may be the other half of your soul but you’ve both developed separate personalities and personas. Now as wonderful and fulfilling as romantic relationships are, they are notorious for changing us into someone we don’t recognise anymore.
‘They make us people pleasers. They make us put someone else first. They make us forget who we are. Romantic relationships turn theIinto a We. Themebecomesus.’
I nod without even realising. With Will, I feel like an I. Does that mean there’s nothing romantic going on between us?
‘Think about it; what other kind of relationship does this happen? Would you start referring to your best friend in these terms? Would you have a joint Facebook or bank account with them? Do you check with them before making plans that don’t involve them? Of course not, so why do we surrender our identity in romantic relationships?’
‘Sex,’ Will says under his breath. ‘What else?’
I feel myself tingle at the mere mention of the word.
‘Having a clear, strong sense of self is vital. Yes, we want to be liked and accepted but being able to maintain boundaries and stay on our own path is important too. How many of you have felt lost after a breakup? Let me tell you something; you felt lost because you strayed from your own path and forgot your way home. Never forget your way home. It’s entirely possible to build a lifewithsomeone, side by side, but do not build your life around them because all you're left with are the walls you built up and an empty space inside.’
Will looks pensive as he turns to a blank page. I wonder what he’s thinking.
‘Now, obviously there are compromises in relationships but taking someone’s needs into consideration doesn’t mean forgetting your own.’
