‘I want to look him up,’ I concede, pushing my pasta around my plate. ‘I just don’t trust myself. What if his photos are public and I spend three weeks looking at pictures of him and his wife and then one day my finger slips, and I accidentally like a post? What if I tag myself in their old honeymoon photos?’
‘Wow, you have thought this through, haven’t you?’ Vic says. ‘Look, if you’re really missing him, you should just contact him. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?’
‘Um, literally everything I’ve just said.’
‘So, you’re too afraid to even find out?’
‘What if I message him and he doesn’t reply?’ I feel my throat tighten. ‘It obviously meant nothing to him, otherwise he would have been in touch. He probably hasn’t even given me a second thought.’
Victoria sighs. ‘Oh, Nora, of course he’ll think of you, he’s—’
‘—AND now after all this Law of Attraction shit, I’m wary that even thinking this negative shit will make it come true!’
Faith rolls her eyes. ‘That’s absurd. If any of that nonsense was true, I’d be married to Leonardo DiCaprio by now. I spent most of my teenage years planning our wedding. Last time I checked, my surname was still Brown.’
‘Still hung up on DiCaprio, huh?’ I reply, smirking. Her bedroom walls were covered in posters of him. ‘I mean, he’s single. You still might have a shot if the universe can make you twenty-five again. And a swimwear model.’
‘My point exactly,’ Faith responds. ‘You cannot just magic something into existence by thinking about it.’
My head shoots back with a groan. ‘Ugh, I know.’
‘It’s a little ridiculous,’ Victoria adds.
‘I KNOW!’ I exclaim. ‘It is ridiculous,I am ridiculous.Look at me. I used to mock women like me – someone pays them the tiniest amount of attention and they turn into grateful, lovesick morons who think the universe somehow brought them together.’
‘People meet every day for no reason at all,’ Faith insists. ‘To imply that there’s some higher power behind it… you got on well with someone for a week, Nora. There’s nothing mystical about that.’
I take a gulp of wine and wallow in her bluntness. ‘I know, but… it’s so hard to explain… the connection we had… maybe it is all in my head.’
Victoria steals more of my pasta and chuckles. ‘Nah, I know exactly what you mean.’
I raise an eyebrow. ‘Really? You and Benjamin?’
She laughs. ‘God, no. He was a slow burner. Remember the first day that we met? Mrs Ahmed’s science class. I was the new kid, and you were made to come and sit with me.’
I smile, remembering her noticeably anxious face peering over at me from the front of the class. ‘Of course. We had to share those really grotty safety glasses.’
‘Well, after hanging out with you for two days, I just knew you were going to be my friend forever,’ she says, smiling. ‘We just gelled. It was instantaneous. I met loads of other kids but that only happened with you. I thought about you that day and well, every day since for the last, oh, twenty-five years.’
God, now I’m tearing up again, and for the first time this evening, Faith is quiet.
‘Finding someone you just “know” before you even know them doesn’t happen often. So, it’s not weird or hard to explain. At least not to me, because that’s exactly how I feel about us. We were meant to be. Just like me and this pasta.’
I laugh and push my plate closer to her. ‘Maybe I will send him a message. Just something casual. What have I got to lose, right?’
Victoria nods. ‘Unless the universe can use social media on your behalf, I think that’s at least a start.’
‘Just go for it.’ My eyebrows shoot up in surprise as I see Faith raise her glass to me. ‘I’ve never had that kind of connection with anyone. You both make me sick. Now go and be happy.’
Victoria laughs and we both join Faith in her toast. We continue with dinner as my stomach bubbles in anticipation.
‘It’s unsettling, you know?’ I say, eating what’s left of my pasta. ‘I’m not used to having this.’
‘Having what?’ Vic asks.
‘Hope,’ I reply.
CHAPTER34
