She nods. ‘Of course. I always say, the best way to get over a man is to take a wrecking ball to your business.’
‘Oh, it’s not just because of Will, it’s—’
She places her hand on my arm. ‘Nora, I know. I think it’s a brilliant idea. I’m in.’
‘Oh, thank God,’ I reply, ‘because that was my only idea and that took hours to come up with. I feel good about this.’
‘Me too,’ she agrees. ‘How exciting! A new chapter for Café Shite.’
I smile as she instantly begins spitballing ideas for the café, while I take my bag and place it in the backroom. A new chapter is exactly what I need. No more ruminating over the past, no more wishing things had gone differently. Charlie’s dad was a huge mistake, but making that mistake gave me Charlie. How can I ever regret that? But Will… Will and I might have been in the same place at the same time, but we were never in therightplace at the right time and that’s alright. Maybe that’s the way it was always meant to be.
CHAPTER35
FOUR MONTHS LATER
‘Mum, that smells like you’ve dug something up. I know you’re going through a whole Tina Turner phase, but can you burn something else when you’re doing your woo-woo stuff?’
Charlie’s snarky dislike of my Bootcamp patchouli oil candle rudely interrupts my evening meditation. My once sad and messy bedroom is now my happy place. My calm place. A place free from the bank loans, the builders, and the planning permission red tape I’m currently wading through at work. It’s been four months since we started the café revamp and it’s as exciting as it is stressful with one more week until opening.
It was the lovely Brad who convinced me to start meditating again. We reconnected a few weeks ago, after a rambling email from me found its way into his inbox, filling him in on my life since bootcamp. I didn’t mention Will’s article or that he was a bootcamp traitor. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not a grass:
So, yes, I’m still single but right now I’m having some sort of mid-life adventure where I’ve just remortgaged my soul to pay for wood panelling, new signage and checkerboard floors. This revamp is either going to be delightfully retro or a tacky mess. I also decided that the universe’s plan wasn’t working for me, so have devised my own strategy, mainly involving an endless cycle of anxiety, power naps and mango smoothies from the new juice bar next door. It’s been fun, if a little stressful. Still somewhat bummed that the whole Will thing didn’t go anywhere, but that’s life, right? You win some, you lose some. My new chapter is looking promising, and I hope wherever he is, he’s happy.
As usual Brad was his delightfully transcendent self. Like a handsome, ripped Buddha.
You can’t lose, Nora, because nothing is ever lost – it’s just not in your vibration at that particular moment. Meditation is key here; breathe, clear your mind and open your heart. You’ll be surprised what you find there.
Unless I find an electrician that turns up on time, Brad, I’m not interested.Still, we’ve agreed to meet for smoothies when he’s next back in Scotland.
I tell Charlie that I’ll look for new oils that don’t offend her delicate nose holes and close my eyes again, my back pressed against the head of my new, king-size, blue velvet bed.
When I first started meditating again, I was all over the place, battling thoughts of the café revamp, life in general, Charlie and, of course, Will. I tried so hard not to think about him, at first unsuccessfully but over the past few weeks my longing for him has diminished. Now he’s becoming just a transitory affection which never fails to make me smile. I meant what I said to Brad; I genuinely hope he’s happy.
I look back on bootcamp now with a great deal of fondness as well as a newfound respect for this whole reality-creation lark. The mantraimagination creates realityisn’t as ‘woo-woo’ as Charlie puts it or as mystical as bootcamp would have me believe because it’s fundamentally true. I realise that I stopped imagining that my life could be better. I stopped believing that I even wanted it to, and my reality reflected that. I was lonely, I was stuck, and I was reliving the same day over and over again. So determined not to let past mistakes define me that I couldn’t move forward. It’s hard to create a future when you’re stuck in the past.
While there are circumstances that I cannot dictate or control, I do have complete autonomy over where I am right now and the power to make it as magnificent as my imagination will allow. Faith said that people meet every day for no reason, but I believe there was a reason I met Will. I believe it was to show me what is possible. He reminds me that I’m capable of falling in love again and if nothing else, bootcamp has helped me view my life through very different eyes. Despite the niggling doubts that surface every now again, I know that there is someone out there for me and I know that I can be happy regardless. Best five thousand pounds I never spent.
I manage a further seven minutes before my phone rings and ruins my blissful meditative state. I bet Tina Turner remembers to turn her ringer off.
‘Electrician’s coming in tomorrow morning,’ Victoria informs me. ‘Sends his apologies.’
Like me, Victoria is equally anxious about the café opening next week but dealing with the pressure far better than I am. She’s also superior at dealing with tradesmen who don’t show up when they say they will. I tend to rage while she diplomatically charms the overalls off them.
‘Thank goodness,’ I say. ‘No one else can fit us in.’
‘I have the cash and carry tomorrow, can you be there, or shall I ask Tracey?’
‘I’ll do it,’ I reply. ‘Though I might murder him for not turning up last week.’
‘Understandable,’ she answers. ‘No reasonable jury would convict, but can you wait until he finishes putting the sockets in?’
‘Sockets before slaying. Got it.’
‘Thanks, will see you in the afternoon! Bye!’
She hangs up and before I can settle down again, I hear Charlie sniff then make a gagging noise.
‘Fine, I get it!’ I yell. Admitting defeat, I blow out the candle and open the window. I’ll try another meditation session when Charlie’s at her dad’s. Or suffering from anosmia, whichever comes first.
