‘I remember the first Christmas present you gave to me,’ Ed says, while I’m in the middle of chewing. ‘Do you?’
It takes me a second, but I get there. ‘Oh god, don’t tell that story.’
‘You just spat sprout at me,’ he says, brushing down his shirt.
‘That’s how much I don’t want you to tell that story.’
‘Shh,’ Gubba tells me. ‘I want to hear it.’
Ed grins, while I cringe so hard my face hurts. ‘So Kate and I hadn’t been officially dating for very long. I mean, we were friends, but it took me over a year to pluck up the courage to ask her out. Anyway, we were fifteen and had no money, so for our first Christmas, Kate made me a mixtape, well, mix-CD, of all my musical heroes.’
Mum awws, while Tom wonders what a mixtape is. When he’s fifteen, they’ll probably be firing off holographic Spotify playlists directly into their crush’s eyeballs. It wouldn’t quite have the same significance, though.
‘It was really something,’ he continues. ‘She’d put so much effort into it, even designing a little cover for it. I played the hell out of that thing. Best present ever.’
He turns and smiles, and I can’t help but smile back. He’s right. I worked my arse off making that. Back then I was completely nuts about Ed and I wanted to impress him. If I’d had the money, I’d have gold-plated that bad boy.
‘But aren’t mixtapes supposed to be a way of sharing your musical tastes with someone else?’ Gary asks.
‘Yeah,’ I reply. ‘But he would have hated my music and gone off me. My hope back then was that when he played his favourite songs, he’d think of me.’
‘Well, it worked,’ he admits. ‘I still can’t listen to “The Thong Song” without thinking of you.’
I laugh loudly. ‘I did not put that song on there!’
Ed nudges me playfully. ‘I know, I’m kidding. Besides, you know which song I’m thinking about and sorry, everyone, I have no intention of sharing what that is. That’s ours.’
It’s ‘Something’ by The Beatles. We’ve danced to that so many times. I briefly place my hand on his before glancing at Gubba. She raises her eyebrows and smiles. I know what she’s thinking. Because I’m thinking it, too. Despite everything, there’s still love there.
Finally finished with dinner, Gary asks if we’re ready for dessert.
‘Give it ten minutes, ducky,’ Gubba tells him. ‘I need to make some room. I’m bursting at the seams.’
‘Kate and I will start clearing the table,’ Ed suggests, already scooping up plates with one hand. ‘Take a break, Gary.’
Three trips later, I begin loading the dishwasher, while Ed fills the sink with hot water to steep the dishes that are too big to fit.
‘That was fun,’ I say, trying to prise out a fork which has wedged in the cutlery basket.
‘Yeah,’ he agrees. ‘Really enjoyed that.’
‘Still can’t believe you told them about my mixtape. That seems like a million years ago now. God, we were so young.’
‘I still have it, you know,’ Ed confesses. ‘The CD.’ He turns off the tap and laughs quietly. God, I was almost giddy when you gave me that.’
‘And yet you never returned the favour,’ I reply, finally dislodging the fork. ‘Though we rarely played any of my songs, so you wouldn’t have had a clue what to include.’
As I stand and close the dishwasher door, I feel Ed standing behind me. He places his hands on my shoulders.
‘I know things are shit,’ he begins. ‘And I know this probably isn’t a wise move.’
‘What isn’t?’ I ask, before feeling him press up against me. ‘Oh.’
He moves my hair off my shoulder and leans in. I feel his breath on my neck. He doesn’t say anything, he just sighs, but that sigh makes every part of my body tingle. I lean back into him and tilt my head, desperate for him to move his mouth to my neck. Which he does. Soon his hands are exploring my body and I have no intention of stopping them.
‘Ahem, shit, sorry. Just wanted to check the oven.’
Ed and I both snap back to reality, blushing like a couple of teenagers, while I readjust my top. ‘No probs,’ I laugh. ‘Just too much vino. I’ll leave you to it.’
