I sit on the loo and put my head in my hands. He’s thirty-four and he’s dating someone closer to my age. I’m mortified. She looks like Britney Spears. What the hell is he thinking? I mean, maybe he’s notoldold, but he’s still too old for her.
When I finally lift my head, I take a moment to look around the bathroom while I finish peeing. White tiled floor, jacuzzi bath and monogrammed his-and-hers towels hanging below the sink. Jesus, there’s even a silver love-heart-shaped toothbrush holder.
As tempted as I am to hide in here all afternoon, I’ve left Ed alone with them and if I don’t go back, he’ll make me walk home.
I wash my hands and take a peek inside their bathroom cabinet, which contains the usual paracetamol and ibuprofen, and nothing prescribed by a psychiatrist to indicate that my dad has lost touch with reality. I take a deep breath and return to the living room.
‘There she is,’ Dad says, his hand already clutching a beer. ‘What can I get you?’
Ed’s sitting on the couch with a beer to be polite. I know he’ll only take a couple of sips and ditch it when no one’s looking. Jane is fiddling with one of her earrings while my dad places her wine on the coffee table. I think I might need one of those to get through the afternoon.
‘Wine is fine,’ I reply, taking a seat beside Ed. ‘The flat is lovely, by the way.’
‘Penthouse,’ he says, giving Jane a nudge. ‘I got the last one.’
I smile as he hands me my glass. ‘Work must be going well, then?’
‘Branch manager,’ he replies, plonking himself down beside Jane who still hasn’t figured out how her earrings work. ‘I’m thinking of going out on my own, though. Something more bespoke, you know? Where the big money is.’
The audacity of this man. I’m one hundred per cent certain that his big salary never equated to bigger child-support payments.
‘Anyway, cheers, everyone!’ he toasts. ‘I got some sandwiches and things from Marks and Sparks for lunch. I’ll just bring them through.’
Jane looks a tad apprehensive as he leaves, like I’m about tostart interrogating her. Which, of course, is true.
‘So are you from Sheffield?’ I ask her as she knocks back her wine.
‘Loxley,’ she replies, nodding. ‘You’re in Castleton, right? I hear it’s lovely.’
Dad reappears with the food, placing the tray on the coffee table.
‘It is lovely,’ I tell her. ‘Maybe Dad will take you there one day. Show you where he grew up.’
‘It’s dull,’ Dad informs her. ‘Bugger all to do, unless you like hiking.’
I take a sandwich from the tray. Of course, he wouldn’t take her back to Castleton, not after the way he left Mum. The locals would string him up.
‘And how did you guys meet?’ Ed asks Jane, doing his best to keep the conversation flowing while I eat.
‘Funniest story,’ she says. ‘Brian came into my work looking for a gift for you for passing your exams. I just thought it was the sweetest gesture.’
Ed almost chokes on his beer while I glance at my dad, whose face has suddenly gone very pale. My eyes narrow.
‘Sorry, Jane, where is it you work?’
‘Yves Saint Laurent counter at Boots,’ she replies. ‘We spent ages choosing the right thing, didn’t we Bri?’
Brinods. ‘Well, you know. . . erm, eat up everyone.’
‘Did you like it?’ she asks me. ‘I love Black Opium. It’s so classy.’
‘I do,’ I reply. ‘It was very thoughtful. Dad’s like that, right, Dad?’
I take a long swig of my wine. I wonder if he gave the perfume to someone else or just returned it to a different branch of Boots, because I sure as hell didn’t receive it.
‘Jane, love, keep Ed company while I give Katie a quick tour of the flat.’
‘Of course– though excuse the mess in the spare room. I’m trying to sort out my wardrobe.’
