‘I mean, you brought Lauren to the party, instead of a partner which, I have to say was a godsend. My hair has never looked better.’
Lauren took on seven new clients from that one party, each with a huge Instagram following. As for me, despite leaving early, I did get a call from Jade Hart. We’re just talking at the moment, but Harriet is delighted.
For a second, I was almost tempted to tell Tara that Ed was actually there, so she didn’t think I was just a sad old spinster who drags her more impressive friends around with her.
‘Well, no, I’m not married,’ I replied. ‘It’s never been something—’
‘Smart,’ she responded, rising from her chair. ‘Though why would you? You’re dealing with unhappy, dysfunctional couples all day– that’s enough to put anyone off marriage for life! Better run. I’ll let you get back to your lunch.’
She left just as quickly as she arrived, but her words hung around much longer. Even now, I can’t shake them.Unhappy, dysfunctional couples. This perfectly describes my parents. Their toxic relationship shaped the way I saw marriage, long before I ever started working here. I came into this job believing that marriage was a waste of time, and have surrounded myself with clients who only compound that belief. How on earth didI not think this would affect my relationship with Ed– a man whose views on marriage have been shaped by happy, functional parents and who’s never doubted he’ll have the same. Well, until I came along and screwed everything up, that is. I realise now that it was never marriage that I objected to. It was ending up like everyone else.
Ed
‘So if you turn to page 78, you can—’
‘Sir, was that really you on TikTok?’
I wondered when this was going to come up. Ashleigh was right. Two hours after our impromptu New Year’s Eve sing-song, a rather shaky thirty-second video appeared online. Thankfully, as I have no social media, I wasn’t tagged directly and managed to avoid being dragged into any online discussions. My students, however, aren’t going to let this go quietly.
‘It was, Lily,’ I reply. ‘Now if we can get back to—’
‘But how do you know Ashleigh Mason?’
‘I don’t really, we just—’
‘My mum said the papers said you were going to do Eurovision.’
I chuckle. Kate would love that idea; she’s a huge Eurovision fan. ‘No, that’s not true. Funny, but no.’
‘How come you never teach us stuff like that?’ Lily asks. I think this is the most she’s ever spoken in my class. ‘Like, you play proper well.’
‘I mean, the curriculum dictates what I teach and—’
‘Class might be more interesting if you did,’ I hear a voice mutter. ‘Instead of all this rubbish.’
I glance over at Scott Wilkins, one of the many smartarses I have in my class this year. I’m tempted to ignore his rude remarkbut as I seem to have everyone’s attention, I decide to respond.
‘Thisrubbish, Scott, is necessary not only for passing the class but to give you an insight into music. How it’s constructed, delivered and, most importantly, how we can appreciate it on different levels. Of course, the academic side will never be quite as thrilling as picking up an instrument and playing, and yes, there are people who are self-taught– naturally gifted and can’t read sheet music to save their lives. But for everyone else, it takes hard work and practice.’
Scott slumps back in his chair, still unconvinced that anything I have to say has any value whatsoever, despite my rising TikTok fame.
‘Do you even like music, Scott?’ I ask him. ‘I mean, do you listen to it?’
‘Course I do,’ he replies. ‘Who doesn’t? But all this stuff is just boring. No one cares. It’s all done on computers, anyway.’
‘OK,’ I reply. ‘Who do you listen to? Favourite band? Singer?’
He shrugs.
‘I mean you don’t look like a typical Ariana Grande fan, but maybe that’s your bag?’
‘He listens to grime, sir,’ Aaron informs me. ‘Thinks he’s going to be the next Stormzy.’
The class laughs while Scott tuts, dismissively. ‘Like he’s gonna know anything about—’
‘British rap?’ I ask. ‘Lots of influences in there, like Jungle, techno, hip-hop. I personally prefer Wiley’s earlier stuff, but Stormzy’s killing it right now.’
Scott looks at me like I’ve just stepped off a spaceship.
