CHAPTER10
‘Stop fussing, love. I’m fine. Honestly, just grab the bags.’
Beth’s left leg exited the car with ease, followed by her right which had to be physically lifted with both hands in order to join its partner. Paul meant well, as always, but her stubbornness to be as self-sufficient as possible was powerful. Besides, Beth knew that someone would be watching from that big, tinted living-room window and she didn’t want them to see her struggle. She grabbed her walking stick from the back seat and plastered on a smile.
Since she’d experienced her first symptom at university in 2011, it had taken ten years for her to need a walking stick. Back then, well before the diagnosis two years ago, her leg had decided to play silly buggers every year or so, becoming numb and dragging with no warning at all before returning to normal like nothing ever happened.Trapped nerve, they’d said.Bit of physio and you’ll be fine.But then she’d woken up one day with double vision and sometimes her bowels had decided they’d rather not wait for a bathroom.IBS, they’d said.FODMAP your way into a healthy digestive system, while you wear a weird prism on your glasses for that weak eye muscle. It happens. Sometimes, it just happens.
She saw Erin open the door, waving profusely. She looked almost exactly as Beth remembered.
But when the eye gets better and the bowels get worse and then the leg starts shaking and won’t lift more than two inches off the ground and you get so tired you cannot function, an MRI reveals that your brain and spine have significant lesions and there’s no way to undo the damage.
‘Erin!’ she yelled, ‘Oh my God, you look amazing!’
Beth approached the door as fast as her one good leg would carry her, with Paul rolling the cases behind.
‘Erin Carmichael, I can’t believe it!’ She placed her cane against the wall and hugged her hard.
‘I know,’ Erin replied. ‘Way too long. I’m so happy to see you!’
Paul reached the door, where he rather awkwardly received his hug.
‘You both exactly the same,’ Erin exclaimed. ‘And I’m glad to see some things never change!’ She motioned to Beth’s leg brace and stick. ‘What the hell have you done to yourself this time, clumsy?’
‘Well, I’m never jet-skiing off my yacht again, I’ll tell you that much,’ Beth replied quickly, going in for another hug. She’d had that line prepared. It was funny enough to ensure that no one would think it was anything serious and would also make them more likely to believe her next lie. ‘I just had a run-in with a bottle of wine and some particularly steep stairs.’
Paul laughed along with everyone else, but she knew he did not approve. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t just be honest about her illness.
‘An entire weekend of everyone feeling sorry for me? Nope, no thank you.’
‘But they’re your friends…’
‘Yes, and one of them lost her husband recently. I can easily pass this off as a sprain or something.’
‘Come away in. Becky and her partner are already here! I was going to put you upstairs, but I’ll swap you with Tara. She can have the upstairs beside Alex and Becky.’
Smiling, Beth shuffled her way through to the living room, while Erin helped Paul with the cases.I can do this, she thought.Clumsy Beth will not be pitied or coddled and maybe, for a few days, everything won’t be about this bloody illness.
‘I love what you’ve done with the place,’ Beth remarked as Paul and Erin returned. ‘It looks so modern! Paul, the last time I was here, I spent the weekend glued to an old-fashioned brown recliner which belonged to Erin’s grandfather. In fact, the whole room was brown.’
‘It’s nice!’ Paul agreed. ‘But there’s a lot to be said for old-fashioned recliners.’
Beth rolled her eyes. ‘He has one in the work shed that he refuses to throw out, even though the neighbours’ elderly cat pissed on it.’
‘Unfair of you to assume it was the cat.’ Paul smiled wryly.
Erin listened to them go back and forth. They were still as fun to be around as they were ten years ago. They also looked genuinely happy, unlike Becky and her girlfriend, which was a relief as the thought of a house full of miserable couples for the weekend was soul-destroying. However, the sight of them together stung, far more than she had anticipated. It only reminded her of everything she’d lost.
Beth took a seat near the window and rubbed her finger down the glass. ‘You know, vinegar and newspaper will get those streaks right out.’
‘Jesus, Beth, we’ve only been here five minutes!’ Paul exclaimed. ‘Sorry, Erin.’
‘What? I’m just saying…’
Erin laughed loudly. She’d missed that bossy cow.
