2020
‘Hi, Doctor O’Hara.’
The first thing that Beth noticed was that this consulting room was far less plush than the one she’d had her initial appointment in. Then again, this was the NHS and not some two-hundred-quid-an-hour private hospital.
‘Hello, Beth. Take a seat.’
The second thing she noticed was his gaze fixed behind her on the closed door.
‘Oh, you didn’t bring anyone with you?’
‘No, just me,’ she replied, sitting down. ‘Hubby’s working.’
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?’ Paul had asked. ‘Bit of moral support?’
‘No point in us both taking time off,’ she’d replied. ‘Besides, I think I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I’m done.’
‘Right, OK,’ the doctor said before opening the file in front of him. ‘Beth Cooper, 19th May, 1990? Thirty years old.’
‘That’s correct.’
‘Great, just checking I have the right information in front of me. So, you came to see me two weeks ago at my private clinic regarding your leg weakness. You first noticed this in 2011 when you were twenty-one. Back surgery two years ago, L4/5 microdiscectomy.’
‘Yes,’ Beth replied. ‘That’s correct.’
‘We decided on a brain and spine MRI, which you had two weeks ago.’
‘Yep.’
‘OK. So… I’m afraid it’s not good news.’
‘It’s MS, isn’t it?’
He looked a little taken aback. ‘Well, yes.’
‘I knew it!’ she replied, almost triumphantly. ‘I mean, I hoped it was just a trapped nerve, but I just had a feeling it was something more. It’s not like I haven’t googled, even though my husband told me not to, but the more I searched, the more it pointed towards this. Or…’
She watched as the consultant pulled his screen around to show her the white spots on her brain and spine. To show her where her own body had been slowly and silently destroying itself.
I have MS.
‘We could also perform a lumbar puncture, but given the number of lesions I see here, along with your symptoms and history, I’m more than confident that we’re dealing with multiple sclerosis. Do you have any questions?’
Yes. How in the flying fuck do I have MS?
‘What happens now?’
‘You’ll be referred to our specialist team to discuss your options. They’ll be able to answer any questions you have. You’ll get an appointment letter in due course.’
‘So, you won’t be my consultant?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘I specialise in a different area of neurology.’
‘Oh. So, with all due respect, if it’s not your area of expertise, then you could be wrong?’
She saw his face soften. ‘It’s extremely unlikely. Do you take vitamin D?’
‘No.’
‘We advise everyone with MS to take a daily supplement. Levels tend to be lower in MS patients. We’ll get your blood work checked so they have everything for your first appointment. The nurse outside will take you along.’
Beth nodded and stood up. She felt numb.
‘I’m sorry it wasn’t better news,’ he said, shaking her hand.
‘At least now I have answers, I suppose. Thanks very much for your time.’
The nurse outside led her along the corridor towards phlebotomy, but she didn’t make it that far before reality began to sink in. She stopped, held on to the wall and sobbed harder than she ever had in her entire life.
