‘A blast!’ I repeat. ‘I’ll take that.’
‘You’re also a very endearing drunk,’ he laughs. ‘It’s rare.’
‘We should take a photo.’
‘We should?’
‘Yes! For posterity. You can tell your grandchildren about the strange woman who lived in a bubble.’
I hold up my phone. Two clicks.
I laugh as I look at the snaps. ‘Look at you all handsome and put together. You look like my parole officer.’
‘Shut up, you look great,’ he replies. ‘I’d go so far as to say beautiful. . . if you didn’t have half a cocktail down your dress.’
I cackle. ‘In my defence, that was spilled on me, not by me. Besides, you can edit that out. There’s an old Spanish lady on board who’s a Photoshop expert.’
We sit for a second, just looking at the photo.
‘You think I’m beautiful?’
‘I do.’
‘Get you, all in love with me. Now look, I know I’m drunk but I really need to ask you something. It’s been on my mind for a while.’
‘Sophie,’ he begins. ‘I really like you but I’m just not—’
‘Pineapples.’
He furrows his brow. ‘Sorry, what?’
‘What the fuck is going on with the pineapples?’
I stagger back to my room, hoping that I still have some bottled water in the mini fridge to mitigate the effects of this incoming hangover. Spending most of the day with Ellis has been fun but it’s been a weird day overall. I do not have confidence that this is the place I’ll meet someone. I’m more likely to be swept away than swept off my feet.
To:Alex Steward
RE:Hello!
Hellooo,
FYI, I might be durnk but this is the weird place to meet anyone and I believe its warranted. You cannot ecape creepy men, even in the middle of the ocean.
I went to Amalfi and Pompeii today. Have you seen any stairs lately? No, because they’re all there. Trillions of them. My mum was also there on her own cruise! Can you believe it? She successful embarrassed me infront of my friend but did have a nice dress on so whatever. At dinner I stood up for a nice gril with a horrible boss. Oh, and I went dancing.
Good times but I’m not sure this is what you had in mind while writing your article. The lack of available men here is concerning, I just thought you should kno thi.Bye bue
Chapter 38
I feel rough. I’m surprised I made it down to breakfast, given my current level of bleurgh. It’s only 8.30 a.m. and despite having been up for a mere half an hour, I already feel like that’s enough being awake for the day.
I know that food will make me feel better eventually if I can just push through the ‘dear God, I can still taste the booze, make it stop’ feeling that’s lingering. The older I get, the longer my body chooses to punish me for the audacity of trying to have a nice time.
As I stick my fork into a lukewarm pancake, an email from Alex appears in my inbox. Shit. I did email him. It wasn’t part of a drunken fever dream.
To:Sophie Smalls
RE:Hello!
