‘I’m Ellis. This is Sophie.’
‘We’re on our honeymoon,’ she informs us, giving Steven’s hand a little squeeze. ‘Can’t wait for this!’
We move away from the shore, slowly at first, before zipping at lightning speed through the sea. I grip on to the side, giggling. With the sun beating down, the wind in my hair feels amazing. I can understand why people do this.
After a few minutes, a crew member beckons Kelly and Steven.
‘¿Vosotroslisto?’ he asks.
Steven and Kelly respond with an equally enthusiastic, ‘We’re ready!’
Ready for what? I wonder as they head towards the back. It doesn’t take long for me to find out. A massive parachute opens at the back of the boat. I watch them, side by side, being strapped into safety equipment.
‘Damn, they’re brave!’ I say, as Steven pulls a GoPro mount over his head. ‘They’ll have some good honeymoon footage, I guess.’
‘Yeah,’ Ellis agrees. ‘Think we could borrow it? They could email the video to me.’
My head whips around to look at Ellis. ‘Why would we borrow. . . um, what’s happening?’
‘Parasailing!’ he replies. ‘It’s such a rush. You’ll love it.’
My eyes widen. ‘What the fuck? I did not agree to this!’
‘This is true but technically you didn’t notnotagree to it.’
I furrow my brow. ‘What kind of argument is that? That doesn’t even make sense! How can I agree or disagree with something I wasn’t aware of?’
‘Again, this is true.’
‘And?’
‘Yep, I have nothing. . . but here we are.’
I’d push him off the boat if I didn’t think he’d enjoy it. ‘Well, you have fun. I will not be participating in whatever the hell this is. Remember those jellyfish I talked about? I would rather take my chances with them.’
I turn to watch Steven and Kelly as they’re enraptured three hundred feet above the boat.
‘Nope,’ I confirm as they get higher and higher. ‘No way. Noo. Enjoy your paragliding.’
‘Parasailing.’
‘Whatever. I could barely zipline for ten seconds! I told you I’m not good with heights! Why on earth would I suspend myself over the ocean? It looks horrendous and not at all enjoyable!’
I can hear Kelly and Steven ‘woo-hooing’ with joy from six million feet above. They are not helping my case.
‘If you don’t want to do it, no problem,’ Ellis says softly. ‘It’s just that you’re all about saying yes these days. So I thought I’d present you with the opportunity.’
‘I’m supposed to say yes to situations that might improve my chances of meeting someone, not improve my chances of becoming fish food.’
For eight minutes, I stare up in horror at the two figures soaring above me, my heart leaping from my stomach to my throat.
‘It doesn’t even look safe,’ I exclaim. ‘And there are seagulls up there? They’re vicious. They eat people, you know.’
‘No, they don’t, and it’s very safe,’ Ellis replies. ‘I’ve done it four times.’
‘Well, maybe not the seagulls,’ I admit, ‘but I do know that people have died doing this.’
‘And people have died crossing the street,’ he replies. ‘Are you going to stop crossing the street?’
