28
Love Is For Suckers
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. Had I heard him right?
‘I don’t know what to say.’ Stating the obvious, a bit. I tried again. ‘I’m very flattered, of course.’
His face fell and a tiny piece of my heart cracked. Flattered was a stupid choice of word. I was an idiot. I wasn’t flattered; it was more than that, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint what.
He was looking at me without expectation, but I couldn’t find the right words. His declaration was so unexpected that I didn’t trust myself to spew out any more immediate reactions.
Loyal, courageous, honourable – had he really said all those things about me?
‘Thank you,’ I said. Because I meant it, but even those two words were inadequate.
‘Zoë, I—’
Before I could speak again, Gavin and Lucy were rushing over.
‘Oh my God,’ cried Lucy. ‘That was kinda awesome. Jonny is such a prick.’
Even Gav looked impressed. ‘The little fucker deserved it,’ he said, quietly. Lucy didn’t react, but maybe she hadn’t heard him.
Nick stood up slowly and I positioned myself by his side in case he needed support.
‘Where did Jonny go?’ I asked. If he dared come near us, I’d hit him myself. I felt like a lioness, protective not only of my team, but of Nick too. I didn’t want to analyse this feeling too closely.
‘Not the best career move for you, Nick,’ said Lucy, tactlessly.
‘I knew I’d get fired over the leak. Getting to punch him was a bonus.’
‘Why did you do it, then? The leak, I mean?’
Nick glanced at me and I held my breath.
‘I thought it was the best strategy for his solo career. The coverage is going to be unbelievable.’
Gav nodded wisely. ‘Makes sense. Although I’d rather see Delaney fall flat on his face.’
‘I’ve been a bit of a fool,’ said Lucy. ‘That’s why I’m going to get well and truly hammered tonight.’
‘It’s nearly midnight,’ I said.
‘Exactly. The night is young,’ she announced. ‘A bunch of us are going to Old Street. Want to come?’
‘I think I’ll pass.’
‘What about you, Nick?’ said Gavin. He looked at me as if it was my decision.
‘No, I think I’m all partied out tonight.’
Gav and Lucy left, looking relieved, leaving me with alone with Nick. How many times had I stood this close to him and not thought twice about it? Now, I didn’t know what to think, other than trying to stop myself from shivering. But I wasn’t cold.
Nick assumed I was, because he put one arm around me. But then he wrapped his other arm round me too, until I was cocooned in his embrace. Our foreheads were centimetres apart.
‘You’re all I think about,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve gone half mad these last few days thinking you hated me.’
‘I don’t hate you, Nick.’
