‘I hope we didn’t keep you up, Mrs H.’
‘She was a naughty one,’ she continued. ‘Never used to eat her greens and insisted on playing the wireless all night.’
What was Mrs H talking about? ‘Are you sure you’re thinking of the same person?’
‘Oh yes, my memory’s still pin-sharp. I used to babysit her.’
I wanted to stick a finger in my ear to make sure there wasn’t a giant lump of wax blocking it. ‘You... you used tobabysither?’
‘Yes, back when I was a student living in Hampstead.’ She picked up Snowy who’d been mewling by our feet. ‘Let’s get you fed, madam.’ She turned to leave. ‘Imagine seeing Marcella Taglioni here,’ she said. ‘I wonder what she’s up to these days.’
Her ignorance seemed absolutely genuine. ‘I’ll fill you in another time, Mrs H.’
I laughed.Mrs H and Marcie had known each other all this time?It was preposterous, but given the surreal night I’d had, it somehow all seemed perfectly plausible.
‘Frixie!’ Simon looked happy to see me. ‘How great that you stopped by. I was just thinking about you.’
He ushered me into his kitchen. ‘I took your advice and bought some Yorkshire Tea. It’s amazing. Let me make you one. The kettle’s only just boiled.’
I nodded and let him fuss around the kitchen. He was whistling to himself as he worked.
What was I doing here? I was sleep-deprived and I wasn’t thinking rationally. How could I be sure this was what I wanted?
But the answer came to me almost immediately. I’d known it last night as Marcie had sung her song. She’d been singing it to Benedict, but she could have written it for me and Simon.
‘Here you go.’ He sloshed the mug down on the table. ‘Not too strong, just as you like it.’
My hands were shaking as I reached out to take the mug.
‘You okay, Frixie?’
Maybe I needed longer to think about this. I could tell him I’d popped by because I was passing; I could drink my tea, and then be off on my merry way.
But it was too late to back out now. His eyes were searching mine – he’d already realised something was different.
Oh God. Was I about to mess everything up?
I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but I needed to be honest with him. And he needed to know the truth.
I reached out to grab his hand. ‘You’re the greatest, do you know that, Si?’
‘Well, actually, I think Muhammad Ali is the greatest.’ He grinned. ‘But I’ll take second-greatest.’
A lump formed in my throat. ‘I’ve loved you since I was thirteen. You’ve been there for me all my life. When you arrived in London all those weeks ago and we shared an ice-cream sundae, I was the happiest I’d been in a long time. You do that to me. You’re fun and funny and can always make me laugh and I never want that to change.’
His face stiffened. His lips were still curved in a smile, but the happiness had left his eyes. Those beautiful, marine-blue eyes looked scared.
‘What are you saying, Frixie?’
‘It’s not going to work between us. I’m sorry.’
For long moments, he didn’t speak. ‘But you and me are the dream team, Frixie. Please don’t give up on us.’
‘You were all I wanted for so long, but I realise now that the image I had of you in my head wasn’t based on reality. It got fixed there when I was thirteen. I’m no better than the girls who are crying over Jonny Delaney leaving the band. I fell in love with an image I created, not a real person.’
‘You were always real to me, Zoë.’ His voice was soft, and I hated that he was using my name and not Frixie. It was like he was putting up a hard shell.
‘You told me once we were better off as friends. And as much as I hated hearing that, I realise now that you were right.’
