31
Don’t Know What You’ve Got
(Til It’s Gone)
On the Friday night before the wedding, I met Alice in Selfridges to get a few last-minute things. She wanted to buy some underwear, and I’d gone up with her to the first floor thinking she needed a more supportive bra or a spare pair of tights. I couldn’t believe my eyes when she eschewed the usual brands and made a beeline for Agent Provocateur.
‘Alice, I’m shocked,’ I told her, only half joking. This stuff was next-level racy; everything seemed to come with matching blindfold.
She smiled. ‘You only have one wedding night.’
‘Knock yourself out, but you’re on your own. I’m not going to stand here while you pick sex outfits for my brother. And have you seen the prices?’
I left her among the sheer teddies and peephole bras and took the escalator back to the ground floor. I could do with anotherMAClipstick; mine was running low and it was always nice to have a spare.
Of course, I ended up buying loads of other stuff, including primer and setting spray, which I’d never worn in my life but the lady was so convincing, and wow, her eye-shadow was amazing.
No, I’d never tried blue with gold highlighter, but go on then, ring those up too.
Credit card still hot, I was wandering around the fragrances when I caught the scent of something divine. What was that smell? It made me feel happy and sad at the same time. It was so familiar, yet...
Oh.
Nick. It was Nick’s aftershave.
Another blast of fragrance, this time stronger. I spun round. A woman behind a counter was spraying a scent onto a card for a customer.
I edged closer to her. Three tall angular bottles were lined up on the glass counter. The one she’d just put down was on the right. The name ‘Serge’ was printed on the amber glass in discreet black lettering. It wasn’t a brand I knew.
‘Would you like to try one? They’re unisex.’ She picked up the middle bottle. ‘This is our newest fragrance.’
I shook my head. ‘Could I try the one on the end? The one you just sprayed?’
‘Of course. On a card or on your wrist?’
‘On a card,’ I said quickly. I couldn’t bear to have the smell of him on my skin. It would feel too intimate.
She pumped the top and a fine mist blossomed onto the card. ‘It’s got a woody base with top notes of musk, leather and blackcurrant,’ she said.
Blackcurrant? Nick didn’t smell like a damn throat lozenge. I took the card from her, brought it to my nose and closed my eyes.
I couldn’t smell the individual notes. They all fused together to form one glorious sensation. I breathed again and my spirit soared. Silken and smoky. Velvety and visceral. It was Nick.
But not quite.
‘Do you not like it?’
I came back to earth with a bump.
‘I need to think about it,’ I said, hastily tossing the card into my shopping bag.
I went to the coffee shop and ordered a chamomile tea – caffeine was the last thing I needed. I sat down at a corner table trying to compose myself.
Jesus, I’d almost had an orgasm in the middle of a department store.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I missed Nick. That much I was prepared to accept. We’d spent a lot of time together these past few weeks. It had been stressful at times, but satisfying trying to help Marcie.
