It was a good point.
‘I’m not crazy about lying to Jess,’ said Simon. ‘But you’ve assured me it’s for a good cause.’
Another good point.
‘I’m sorry about all this, Simon. It will be the last time – I promise.’
We said our goodbyes, and hung up. I paced up and down the kitchen, feeling rattled. Did he really have to tell Jess that Nick was my boyfriend? It was weird, but something more was bothering me.
I took out a mug to make tea, mulling things over. As the kettle boiled, things slowly moved into focus. I hated the idea that Simon was happy to see me with another man. I wanted the idea to repel him, not for him to be the one suggesting it. Would he really be so sanguine if I announced I was actually seeing someone? And then on top of that, I would have to adjust my focus and act like I was with Nick, when all I wanted to do whenever Simon was in the same room as me was lock eyes on him.
Maybe I was overreacting. Simon was only asking me topretend. There was a world of difference between faking a boyfriend and having one.
I poured milk in my tea and threw the tea bag into the bin. I still had one more hurdle to overcome: Nick had to agree to our faux relationship too. It was almost nine o’clock now – was that too early on a Sunday to ring him?
I scrolled through the numbers of my mobile and found Nick’s. It rang twice before going to voicemail. Dammit. I had wanted to get this over with quickly. I hung up without leaving a message. I opened and closed cupboards, trying to find my emergency stash of Rich Teas.
I was in the middle of dunking my fourth biscuit when Nick’s number flashed up on my mobile.
‘Hi, Nick, thanks for calling back.’
‘No problem. What can I do for you?’
‘This is kind of awkward, but Jess is going away for a couple of weeks so if you want to talk to her it has to be tonight.’
‘That should work. I can shift a couple of things.’
Okay, now I needed to get to the hard part. ‘There’s just one small detail. Simon thought it would be easier to explain your presence to Jess if we said you were my... um... boyfriend.’
Silence.
‘Nick? Can you hear me?’
‘Not very clearly because it sounded like you said you want me to pretend to be yourboyfriend.’
He sounded offended, which was a bit rich. I mean, it’s not like he’d never flirted with me.
‘Yes,’ I said stiffly. ‘That’s exactly what I said. She’s more likely to trust you that way. It was actually a genius idea.’Did I just use the word ‘genius’ to describe this hare-brained plan?
‘Being your boyfriend – what exactly would that entail?’
Jesus, he sounded like a drama student with a walk-on part who insists on discussing hismotivation. ‘Just act normal – like we did the first night. No one’s asking you to act untoward.’
‘Is this something you do quite often?’
‘Jesus, what do you take me for? No! But I can’t see the big problem. What’s the difference between friends and dating?’
He paused for effect. ‘Zoë, did your mother never sit you down and have that special talk?’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, you’re making a big deal out of this. It’s not like we have to prove to Jess we have carnal knowledge of each other.’
Why did I just say carnal?
I tried again: ‘For all she knows, you’re a born-again Christian who doesn’t believe in sex before marriage.’
Shit. Wrong again.
‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you are... are you?’
