‘Did we not buy gin?’
‘I’m pretty sure we did. Is it not there?’
‘Maybe it rolled out in the car?’ suggests Mark.
‘Damn,’ says Pen. ‘We got into a discussion about what type of gin to buy. Something plain-ish or with a stronger flavour. It was my fault – sorry.’
‘We can do without,’ I say. ‘It’s not a problem.’
I go back to cutting the last slices of cake before I realise Pen is quietly crying.
‘Oh Pen, sweetie, please don’t worry about the gin.’
‘I don’t want to go home,’ she whispers.
I put the knife down and pull her into a hug. ‘We all feel like that on the last day.’
Her crying only seems to get worse. I catch Mark’s eye.
‘I’m going to go and buy gin,’ he says, picking up his keys.
I nod gratefully and squeeze Pen tightly.
I hold her, waiting for the tears to subside. The poor thing, she’s had a rough few months.
Pen looks up. ‘Tell him to be careful.’
‘He’ll be fine.’
She looks stricken. ‘Please.’
‘Be careful, Mark,’ I call.
‘Will do,’ he replies before we hear the sound of the front door closing.
This seems to calm her. Although why the sudden worry about Mark? She did something similar last night.
‘Want to tell me what’s going on?’
She takes a shaky breath. ‘I’m not getting better. Everyone said I just needed a break after all the stress of the exams, but if anything, it’s got worse.’
‘How long have you been on your medication? It can take a while to work.’
‘I … I stopped taking it. It was giving me horrible dreams to the point I dreaded going to sleep.’
‘Oh, sweetheart, I wish you’d said something. Your doctor can prescribe a different pill. Sometimes, it takes a couple of tries to find the right one.’
‘There’s only one doctor at the practice that I like, and he’s on holiday till the end of the month. I don’t want to see anyoneelse because they all try and fob me off, saying it’s normal exam stress.’
‘Have you been talking to your counsellor at college?’
‘Yeah. She’s been great, and she’s done so much to reassure me. But she doesn’t work over the summer break. And it’s just …’
‘It’s just what?’
‘It’s not only college that makes me anxious. It started that way, but now, it’s spread.’
‘That’s the way it goes sometimes, your brain gets into the anxiety habit. What other things do you get anxious about?’
