‘But you slept with Rich on the first night!’ Tig sounds personally offended.
Why I ever trusted her with this information is beyond me.
‘Thanks for broadcasting that, I’m sure it was the question on everyone’s lips.’
‘I wasn’t judging,’ she insists.
‘She totally was,’ says Pen quietly.
‘Leaving all that aside,’ says Mark, in a show of gentlemanly tact. ‘I’d like to know why you think that. I’d have guessed you were a romantic.’
‘You can’t be a romantic in my job,’ I tell him, the truth of it suddenly making me sad. Or maybe it’s the Sloe Comfortable Screws making me morose. ‘You have to be a realist, and the reality is you can’t love someone you don’t know. I wouldn’t trust a man who said he loved me before he knew me. You grow to love someone. Couples who go on to fall in love afterfeelingthey fell in love at first sight don’t realise they’ve mistaken instant sexual attraction for love. I see it with patients all the time.’
‘Interesting theory,’ says Theo, sounding sceptical.
‘No, it’s not,’ says Tig. ‘He’s just being polite, Nell. It’s a pants theory. Theo and I are living proof of love at first sight.’ She gazes at him. ‘Isn’t that right, babe?’
‘It was like being struck by lightning,’ he replies, a faraway look in his eyes.
‘I’m sure it was like being struck bysomething,’ says Yan. ‘A rugby ball, maybe?’
‘To the face,’ adds Pen.
‘That doesn’t stop talking,’ I finish.
Tig pouts. ‘You’re all just jealous.’
‘Don’t listen to them, my little chatterball,’ says Theo.
For a second, I think Tig’s going to give him a sharp elbow to the ribs but she just smiles.
‘Nothing wrong with being talkative,’ she says. ‘It means I can ask nosey questions like … oh, let me see … How’s Brigitta?’
‘Thanks for bringing up the painful subject of my ex,’ says Mark, pretending to clutch at his heart.
‘Might not be “ex” for ever,’ murmurs Theo.
Mark gives him an annoyed look, before glancing at me. I pretend to study the ice in my glass.
Tig doesn’t seem to notice all the furtive glances. ‘Did you sleep with Brigitta on the first date?’
‘Definedate,’ asks Mark.
Tig rolls her eyes. ‘Did you sleep with her on the day you met?’
‘I’m not sure that would be fair on her to answer,’ he says.
‘Well, that obviously means yes,’ say Tig.
Mark sleeping with someone else isn’t something I want to dwell on. I’ve avoided his eye the whole time he’s been talking.
We all vote yes, but are surprised to discover the answer is no.
Eager to start a new round, I’m about to put a new question to Yan, but Theo isn’t finished.
‘You must be slipping, mate,’ he says, looking pleased with himself.
Mark purses his lips and looks to one side in an exaggerated pose of remembering. ‘We met at four in the afternoon, came off shift at midnight, and were back at hers by half past. So,technically, it was the next day.’
