I stop myself, not because of Yan’s disapproval but because I don’t want Rich to know I’ve been here. Not that he’d notice there are only three mugs lying around when there were four when he left this morning.
‘Let’s just get what we came for and leave,’ says Yan. ‘I’m worried as soon as I turn my back, you’ll whip out the vacuumand start tidying. And that bastard doesnotdeserve a free maid service.’
Twenty minutes later, with a suitcase packed full of all my skimpiest summer clothes – Yan’s criteria, not mine – we’re back in his car.
‘I gotguancialethe other day,’ he says.
I suck in a breath. ‘Do you need to get to a doctor? Charles will see you at short notice.’
‘Ha ha,’ he says.
I know very well thatguancialeis the cut of pork you need to make authentic carbonara, which happens to be one of my favourite dishes.
‘If you’re offering to cook for me tonight, that would be lovely.’
‘Might even have a bottle of Lambrusco Bianco kicking around.’
‘How very Joan Collins of you.’
‘That’s Cinzano Bianco, darling. A little respect for Dame Joan,please.’
We’re almost back in Ealing when I remember Yan’s unwanted houseguest. ‘I can’t go back to yours because I don’t want to bump into Mark.’
Yan looks over at me. ‘He’s at Theo’s tonight, but you’re going to have to see him sooner or later.’
‘Oh, don’t worry, Tig beat you to it. He was part of our cosy foursome at dinner the other night.’
‘And it was fine, wasn’t it?’
He’s so sure he’s right I don’t have the energy to correct him. And I’m in no mood to dwell on Mark.
Instead, I put on the radio and we listen to Heart 2000s all the way home.
Chapter 20
When we get to the flat, it’s not Mark we find, but Theo. He’s hunched over a laptop on the sofa and when he hears us he turns round, looking guilty.
‘Oh, it’s you guys.’
‘Yes, it’s the person who owns the flat and his sister,’ Yan deadpans. ‘The last people you’d expect to see.’
‘I heard a female voice and panicked, thinking it was Tig.’
‘Why, what sort of sick porn were you watching?’ asks Yan.
Theo’s eyes go wide. ‘I wasn’t watching porn!’
Yan grins. ‘Relax, I was teasing.’
‘I thought Mark was coming to you tonight,’ I say, struggling to match Yan’s jokey mood.
‘That was the plan, but then Tig rang to say she was coming home early, and we had to decamp here so she didn’t see us.’
The front door clicks open, and a couple of moments later, Mark comes up the stairs carrying pizzas and a four-pack of beer. He’s wearing workout gear – black track pants and a red Nike T-shirt – which contrasts weirdly with Theo’s dress shirt and suit trousers.
He pauses at the entrance to the living room, his eyes fixed on me.
‘What are you doing that Tig can’t know about?’ Yan asks. ‘Secretly fucking?’
