I try to feign excitement. ‘That’s great news,’ I offer, while thinking,kill me now.
Alarmingly, tears spring to my eyes. Tig’s not particularly observant at the best of times, never mind when she’s wrapped up in her very own fairy tale, but against all odds, she notices my glumness. Or rather, she notices my suitcase.
‘Er, what’s that? Have you finally walked out on that loser?’ She’s so sure she can’t be right that she audibly gasps when I don’t answer. ‘What the fuck, Nell?’ She spins round. ‘MUUUUUM! We need you here!’
I hustle over the threshold, dragging my Samsonite behind me.
‘Can we not do this in front of the whole street?’ I mutter, just as Mum appears in the hallway.
‘What’s happening?’ she asks, frowning. ‘Are you okay, Marinellamou?’
‘She split up with Rich,’ Tig blurts out.
‘God help us,’ Mum whispers, doing her cross. ‘Is Tig serious?’
I nod. ‘Can I stay here for a while?’
‘Of course, darling. You look like you haven’t slept in a week. What happened?’
‘He’s shagging a patient, I bet,’ says Tig, a little too happily. ‘I always thought he was overly friendly with everyone. You’ve got to watch that type.’
Her complete lack of empathy makes me snap. ‘For once in your bloody life, Tig, can youthinkbefore you speak?’
I hadn’t meant to shout. Or swear. An awkward hush descends. All I can hear is the carriage clock on the console table that hasn’t kept the right time since 2003.
Standing behind Mum in the hallway are Theo, Pen, Dad, Auntie Toulla and Granny Maria.
This is all I need.
The only one who didn’t catch my outburst is the cat. Then I notice Zorba’s black ears sticking out of the banister halfway up the stairs. He chirrups as if to say, ‘Please continue.’
‘You need a drink,’ says Mum. ‘Vasili, get the brandy.’
Dad duly traipses off to the kitchen.
‘And make sure it’s the MetaxaFiveStar,’ she adds. ‘This is no time for the cheap stuff.’
From such a stellar start, things go from bad to worse. Tig’s insisting that I don’t needthat loserin my life and that she’ll find me a better boyfriend in no time. Pen nods along. She always agrees with everything Tig says, hoping for a bit more attention from her.
The only person who exhibits any discretion is Theo, the one person I’mnotrelated to. He mumbles something about needing a valet carwash and disappears.
After forty-five minutes, I’m starting to regret turning down Mum’s offer of a stiff drink. The thought of alcohol makes me want to puke, but at least I’d get a few minutes to myself in the bathroom. Although, knowing Mum, she’d be in there too making sure I didn’t splash vomit on her ballerina loo-roll cover.
‘D’you think he’s done it before?’ ponders Tig, as if she’s addressing her book group and wants to know what everyone thinks about the love triangle between two Wrens and a Bletchley Park code-breaker.
I’m going to strangle her. I’ve been home for less than an hour and reverted to teenage me, trying to shut up my bratty little sister.
It’s time to bail. ‘If it’s all the same with you guys, I need to lie down.’
‘Yes, of course,’ says Mum. ‘The bags under your eyes have got bigger since you arrived.’
And with that ringing endorsement of my boyfriend-retaining attractiveness, I head upstairs.
Chapter 5
My room is still painted the same sickly pink I chose when I was thirteen. Oily Blu Tack stains pockmark the walls, even though the posters of McFly and Robert Pattinson are long gone. I unzip my suitcase and hang a few things. The wardrobe is mainly full of Mum’s winter clothes, but as I rifle through the hangers, I recognise some of my old stuff: a pair of low-rise boot-cut jeans and a Harvard sweatshirt I bought because I was obsessed withLegally Blonde.
I lie on the bed and close my eyes, and the next thing I know, it’s 6 p.m.
