‘They need more than that.’
‘What?’ Charles glanced at the door. ‘Tell us.’
‘You’re going to make a payment to Samir’s parents on behalf of Gravitas. A large payment. Maybe it won’t make them feel any better, but perhaps they could do something in Samir’s name. Something that will help the community or some cause Samir cared about.’
Charles rolled his eyes. ‘They’ll probably spend it on a cruise.’
‘You’re an arsehole. That’s my price. Otherwise, when the police come through that door I’m going to tell them everything that really happened.’
Susan rapped on the door again and demanded to be let in.
‘All right,’ Charles finally agreed. ‘I’m going to be bankrupt.’
Everyone shook hands, and Avril opened the door to let the police in.
The expression on Susan’s face when she saw all of us, including Jasmine, was almost funny.
Now, I still didn’t know if I’d done the right thing. I felt dirty. Contaminated. I had been rushed into accepting the deal, and I was happy that I’d managed to get something for Samir’s family. But wouldn’t the truth be better?
Before this week, I would always have said yes. But was that an idealistic way of looking at the world? Jasmine had certainly thought so, and Brenda seemed to agree. The hardest part of it was knowing I had been forced to make a decisionon behalf of Samir’s family. They would never know what had happened to him, and I was going to have to find a way to live with carrying that secret around.
The only thing that salved my conscience a little was that I’d turned down Charles’s offer to give me a lump sum as part of the deal. During the meeting in the pub he’d suggested he might be able to fund my next movie. I’d told him I’d rather never make a documentary again– and maybe I wouldn’t. Because if I no longer believed in truth, what kind of documentary-maker would I be?
Perhaps I’d be better off with fiction.
All of which led to the big question.
What were Holly and I going to do now?
I was still in the kitchen with her now. ‘I’ll probably never see this place again,’ she said. ‘I wonder if Avril will sell it or move in. Whatever, I don’t want to come back here.’
‘Yeah. It’s not top of my destination list, either.’
She leaned against the counter, facing me. ‘You didn’t answer my question. How are you feeling about everything? How are you feeling aboutme?’
‘I still love you.’
‘But?’
‘Every time I look at you I’m going to remember this week. All the secrets. The lies. The deal. I want to be able to not think about any of it for a while.’
She nodded.
‘Also, family Christmases would be really awkward.’
There was a long silence, and I thought maybe she was going to say something like, ‘So I guess this is goodbye.’ A stupid part of my brain was trying to come up with an apt movie quote, something to break the tension. But nothing seemed right. Arnie is not the right person to quote whenyou’re trying to decide whether you can stay with your girlfriend or not.
‘What if there weren’t any family Christmases?’ she asked. ‘Or New Years. Or anything.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m saying maybe it’s time I cut ties. Properly. I tried it before, when I ran away and went travelling. But this time… I’ll sell my shares. Tell them I don’t want anything to do with them. It’s only Dad and Miranda now, anyway. They’ll be fine with each other.’
‘I couldn’t ask you to do this.’
‘You’re not asking me, though, are you? I’m volunteering.’ She took a step closer to me. ‘I want to be with you, Patrick. I think you might be the only sane person I’ve ever met.’
‘Ordinary. Sane. You keep hitting me with compliments.’
