I didn’t know what to say to Avril. She looked miserable and had obviously been crying, her eyes pink and puffy, but I didn’t think I was supposed to know that Lewis had been her dad.
‘Are you not working tonight?’ I said to Morag, opting to avoid the big emotional topic for now.
‘I’m supposed to be. I don’t know if I can face it, though.’
She looked as unhappy as her daughter. Did she still carry a torch for Lewis? Maybe she was thinking about what might have been. Whatever, I guessed there must still be some emotional connection.
‘I need to find Holly and Miranda so I can help them find Jasmine.’
‘Her?’ Avril said. ‘She killed him.’
‘We don’t know that. Not for certain.’
‘Who else could have done it?’
Morag hung her head. ‘So much death around here. It’s too much. If it wasn’t for Mum…’
Avril snapped at her. ‘You always say you’re going to leave, but you never do. I’m getting out, though. The moment I finish school, I’m off.’
Morag lay an arm across her daughter’s shoulders, but Avril shrugged her off, taking a hard suck on her vape.
‘I wish you’d give that up,’ Morag said.
‘Why should I? At least I’m not like you. You were a druggie when you were my age.’ Morag shook her head, but Avril continued, trembling with emotion. ‘At least I haven’t been stupid enough to get myself knocked up. I wish I’d never been born.’
I expected Morag to tell Avril not to talk like that, but she seemed cowed, hanging her head, another person close to tears. I wanted to give her a hug but felt too awkward to even try. I wasn’t used to this– to another family airing their emotions in front of me.
‘Why did he hate me so much?’
‘He didn’t hate you, sweetheart.’
‘He just didn’t care.’ Avril put her vape in her pocket. ‘I’m going inside.’
She pushed her way into the pub.
Morag sighed. ‘Are you wondering what all that was about?’
‘I’m assuming she was talking about Lewis. Your mum told me. About him being Avril’s dad, I mean.’
‘Of course. I’m amazed the whole of Applecross doesn’t know.’ She let out another great sigh. ‘That was part of the arrangement. I would keep quiet about who the father was, not put his name on the birth certificate.’
‘That must have been hard.’
‘I didn’t have much choice. I needed the money. Speaking of which, it turned up today, with a Christmas bonus and a note from Zack apologizing for the delay. He told me to buyAvril something nice.’ She shook her head. ‘Feeling guilty, I guess.’
Several more people passed us and went into the pub.
‘Do you need to go and start work?’
‘I should. But Mum has got all her other staff working there tonight. She’ll yell at me in the morning, but I honestly don’t feel up to it.’
‘I get it.’ My phone was still in my hand. ‘I need to try to find Holly. I want to help with the search for Jasmine.’
‘What are they doing? Driving around blindly?’
‘Probably.’ I paused. ‘My car is still at the caves. I don’t suppose you could give me a lift to pick it up?’
She hesitated.
