‘Yeah, of course, she would say that. She’s nice.’
‘I think she actually meant it,’ said Holly. ‘What good is it going to do, us staying in the house? She’ll probably fall asleep at nine anyway. She usually does. And she’ll have you and Dad with her.’
‘Yeah, come on, Miranda,’ Lewis said. ‘It’s hard for us, too. But life… it has to go on, right?’
‘You make me sick.’ Miranda pointed at him. ‘You only want to go out because you think that emo is going to let you into her knickers.’
‘You’re the disgusting one,’ Lewis said. ‘Morag and I– it’s more a meeting of minds. A cerebral connection.’
He had left the room, leaving the two sisters behind. Holly, to her credit, at least looked a bit guilty, wringing her hands and glancing at Mum’s closed bedroom door.
‘I really don’t think she minds us going out.’
‘Whatever. I don’t want you here anyway.’
Holly had walked away, pausing to say, ‘If Mum falls asleep and you decide you want to come out, you’re welcome to join us.’
Miranda had replied with a grunt.
Now, on the evening of New Year’s Eve, she stood in the kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil. She made two cups oftea and carried them up to the bedroom, where Mum lay, propped up with a pillow behind her.
‘Ah, lovely,’ Mum said as Miranda set her mug on the bedside table. ‘You’re a good girl.’
‘How are you feeling?’ Miranda sat down by her mum’s feet. On the other side of her, their miniature dachshund, Willow, was snoozing. She opened one eye to regard Miranda, then closed it, satisfied.
‘Not too bad, sweetheart. Tired, that’s all. But I’m always tired these days, aren’t I? You must be sick of hearing about it.’
‘Not at all.’
Mum smiled and closed her eyes, resting her hands on her collar bone. Miranda felt herself drifting. It was so quiet here. Dad was downstairs, watching TV, and Holly and Lewis were out with their new friends. All she could hear was Willow’s slightly wheezy breathing and the wind outside the window. A great wave of melancholy washed over her.
‘Why didn’t you go out tonight?’ Mum’s voice made her startle.
‘I thought you were asleep.’
‘Nope. I’m still with you. But you should have gone out, Miranda. It’s Hogmanay.’
‘I wanted to stay here with you.’
‘You are silly.’
Mum closed her eyes again, allowing Miranda to study her.
‘You’re beautiful, Mum. Dad was so lucky to meet you.’
‘Maybe.’ She smiled her soft smile again, but then grew serious. ‘One day your dad will find someone new. He’s still young, Miranda—’
‘He’s in his forties.’
‘That’s young. And he deserves to find happiness again. I don’t want him to be lonely.’
‘He won’t be. He’ll have me and Lewis and Holly.’
Mum patted her hand. ‘But you’ll grow up, have children of your own. Eventually, one day, Dadwillmeet someone new. I mean, they won’t be as pretty as me, of course.’
‘How could they be?’
She closed her eyes again and, after a minute, Miranda did the same.
