‘I can’t drink and drive.’
‘You can haveone.’ She lowered her voice. ‘There are no police here. Well, a single cop, but it’s not like you need to worry about being stopped. And there’s no traffic to crash into. Go on, you can have one pint.’
It had been a long journey with multiple legs: a taxi from Brighton to Gatwick, then the flight to Inverness, and finally the long, winding drive here.
‘Go on, then. I’ll have one.’
She kissed me. ‘My wild rock-and-roll boyfriend.’
We took a seat and I sipped my pint, enjoying the heat from the open fire. On the wall opposite, a painting showed a cave on a hillside with what looked like a giant snake poking its head out of the entrance and surveying its bleak surroundings. Something about the picture made goose bumps ripple on my arms.
Brenda approached our table. She glanced at me but didn’t ask Holly to introduce us. ‘What can I get you?’
We ordered food from the impressive menu: mac and cheese for me and soup with crusty bread for Holly, who said she wasn’t very hungry.
‘I don’t think Miranda likes me much,’ I said.
‘What? Oh, she’s always like that.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘She’ll be “so tired” after the journey, while the rest of us “just don’t understand the pressure of being a mum and organizing everything”.’ She waggled her fingers to make air quotes twice during this last sentence, lowering her voice in an impression of her sister. ‘She’s the one who always insists we get togetherfor Hogmanay, then she spends the week almost having a stress-induced breakdown. Which is obviously ramped up this year because of the Jasmine thing.’
‘I understand how weird it must be.’
‘I’m not sure you do, though. Your parents are still together. And my dad has been single since my mum died. I mean, he’s had the occasional fling. I know he hasn’t been a monk these past eighteen years, but there’s been no one serious.’ She leaned forward. ‘I’m half-hoping he’ll get here and announce they’ve broken up.’
‘Really?’ Personally, I was happy I wasn’t going to be the only newcomer here. It took a lot of pressure off.
Holly went on. ‘I know, I know. I need to be happy for him. But I’m still struggling to believe it. He goes away to Florida, which was out of character as it was. I’ve never known him go on a beach holiday before. He usually goes on long hiking trips or to those things where a load of blokes go into the woods and yell at each other. But off to Miami he trots, and the next thing we know he’s met some American woman and they’re engaged. I can’t get my head round it.’
We’d had this conversation before, and I repeated what I’d said last time.
‘He met a woman, was attracted to her and fell in love with her. Like I fell in love with you.’
‘Yeah, I get that. But whythiswoman? Why marry her?’
‘Maybe they have a lot in common despite coming from completely different backgrounds.’
She shook her head like this was hard to believe. Holly still refused to acknowledge that she and I had grown up under vastly different circumstances.
‘I want to know what’s so special about her, that’s all.’
Our food arrived. It was exactly what I needed, all carbsand fat, salty and filling. Holly seemed less enthusiastic, slowly consuming a few spoonfuls before losing interest. This was unlike her. She usually ate quickly then stole half of mine. I reached across and stroked her hair, above her ear, and she leaned her head against my hand.
‘Do you think I’m being a brat?’ she asked. ‘A silly little girl who doesn’t want her daddy to find love with a new woman?’
To be honest, I did think she was being a bit childish, not even giving this woman a chance before meeting her, but I also understood how hard it must be. But before I could reply, Morag appeared by our table. She was wearing an apron. She had clearly come to the pub from her housekeeping duties. ‘How was it?’
‘Delicious,’ I said.
‘I need the loo.’ Holly got up. As soon as she had gone through the door of the ladies, Morag sat at the table next to mine.
‘I’m sorry if Avril was impolite earlier. She’s just turned eighteen and I can hardly get more than a grunt out of her. Still, I wasn’t much better when I was her age. I was an emo, believe it or not.’
‘Actually, I can.’ Most of the emos I’d met were a bit awkward and shy. Outsiders. ‘Did you know Holly and her brother and sister when you were teenagers?’ I was always keen to hear stories about the younger Holly.
‘Oh aye. We hung around together all the time. Every summer and every Christmas. Has she not told you about it?’
‘A little.’ The truth was, Holly was tight-lipped when it came to her teenage years, presumably because of her mum’s illness. I knew that her mother had died here in 2007. That the whole family had spent one last Christmas and Hogmanay together in 2006.
Morag glanced in the direction of the toilets to see if Holly was coming.
