Kellan’s throat bobbed, but he jerked his head, motioning me to continue.
“And she had two wonderful children,” I said as I wound around another deadly shard of glass. “They wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t left with Bear. And Bayne.”
I waited for a pained regret to come after speaking his name, but nothing of the sort arrived. Our parting had felt…empty, yet I didn’t mourn the loss of what we had. My brows furrowed. Should I? And should I have had that conversation with him as soon as we’d defeated Dark King Daimos? There had been no time… Isla needed me. Lida needed him… Should I have approached things differently with him after we returned from Tynan’s realm? Why could I never get my timing right?
“Stop blaming yourself,” Kellan said softly, and my chest constricted.
“I’m not,” I muttered, carefully stepping over a large, broken shard of glass.
“Liar,” he countered. “I don’t need a Bellator bond in place to know what it is you feel.”
My throat constricted as the feeling I had yet to admit threatened to surge forward at his words.He didn’t know what I felt.And how could I possibly tell him? After what he’d witnessed in the Abyss… After he’d experiencedmy hell, witnessing andsufferingevery dark moment of my life…
The feeling that had slowly sparked to life over the past year with him… It was what drove me through the Vael Lacrima, what tethered me to him as our air oath disappeared, and his own life force winked out. It was what made it possible for me to find him in Tynan’s Hell.
How dare I allow it to see the light, to blossom, after what I’d put him through?And what hope did I have in him returning it? Before the Vael Lacrima… Before Tynan’s Hell… The mere thought had barely taken root, yet a glimpsing tendril of hopehad existed. That perhaps something similar lived inside him. But now?
My throat bobbed as I tried to swallow against its dryness, and I shook my head.
“Do you want to know what it is I feel?” he asked after a few moments of tense silence, his voice thick.
“Don’t,” I croaked, my head continuing to shake.
“Don’t what, Bonscaíh?” he rasped. His voice dropped an octave.
Something warm and desperate surged in my chest. Words caught in my throat, and I didn’t dare look back at him. He couldn’t possibly?—
“Don’t fall in love with you?” he asked, reaching a calloused hand toward mine.
I stilled. My breath caught as he slipped his fingers along the top of my hand, and his thumb ran a soft line down my palm.
I slowly turned toward him, dragging my gaze to his. I was met with a fierce, unyielding certainty, and my chest nearly caved in.
“How can—” I started as I took a hasty step forward without looking, my foot stepping into thin air.
My heart banged against my ribcage, and Kellan’s hand snatched my arm just in time to swing me to the edge of a wide crater as the path ended at an abrupt drop off. His arm pressed against my chest as I heaved.
I blinked rapidly against the darkness, and my sight slowly adjusted as I assessed the space before us. We stood upon a two-foot-wide ledge that lined a massive crater. A strange, twisty tree stretched from the center of the hole up to our level, two sickly branches reaching to the edge in opposite directions.
My senses prickled, and an overwhelming sensation of doom washed over me.This place was not safe.
Kellan stepped away and inched toward the connecting branches. I followed slowly, grateful my life hadn’t ended along with the conversation we were having…
“It has to be in there,” I breathed as I stared at the twisty tree.
We dropped our packs and examined the rickety-looking walkway. Kellan grunted his agreement and tested the spindly branch with his foot.
“Seems to hold,” he murmured. “Don’t look down,” he added with a wink.
My stomach lurched as I did the opposite. Rocky walls descended into nothing. Kellan stepped onto the branch, and I took a deep breath, steeling myself and holding my arms out to the side as I followed.
Kellan’s hand snapped out to mine as soon as we reached the end, and he pulled me into a small space within the black tree. I heaved a sigh as we found our footing, Kellan’s hand still wrapped around mine, and our faces close enough to share air.
Asnapcracked through the air, and my stomach lurched as I whipped my head around in time to see the branch we used to cross break from its connecting point on the edge of the crater and curl in toward the tree. We scrambled out of the way as broken sticks and bark hurtled toward us, tripping over a gnarled knot and falling into the flat base of the tree.
“There’s one more bridge,” Kellan reassured after getting to his feet. “We have a way out.” He reached a hand down and hauled me to my feet.
I brushed myself off, the black bark delicate and paper-thin, little bits of it drifting off and floating down like ash. Kellan’s face paled, his dark, cropped beard stark against it as his body went rigid. I slowly turned around and followed his gaze to the center of the dark tree.
