Archer smiled despite himself, a hand reaching up to run through his dark hair. “So tell me somethin’ I daenae ken.”
For a moment, River was silent, as if she was contemplating something. Then, she leaned closer to him, her hand creeping over his own where it was resting on the covers.
“I’m nae ill,” she said. “I’m pregnant.”
Archer froze. It was as if the entire world had stopped spinning around him, and then had picked up speed, the room swaying around him. For a moment, he wondered if he had even heard River correctly. Surely not, he thought. Surely, she had not just told him that she was pregnant.
They had not been careful, that much was true. He had not been careful. The fault was his. He was the one who should have shown restraint. He was the one who should have at least taken some precautions so this wouldn’t happen.
But now it had happened, and Archer would be lying if he didn’t admit a part of him—a big part of him—was glad for it. He wanted an heir. He wanted a child, and he wanted River to be the mother of that child. It made everything else more complicated, of course. There was still someone after him, there was still risk, there was still so much to be done. But River was pregnant and no matter how much he wished he had planned this better, the moment for him to become a father had come.
He had to act now if he was to keep River and the child safe. He had to do something, to take control of this situation, to find whoever was after him. If the man who had attacked him found out there was so much to lose for him, he would surely go after River and the child.
“I must…I must move back to the other wing,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. His stomach had tied itself in knots, bile rising to the back of his throat and leaving an unpleasant taste in his mouth. The more he thought about everything that needed to be done, the more he thought about everything that could happen to River and his unborn child, the more that knot tightened, leaving him nauseous and gasping for air.
“Are ye nae glad?”
The question was spoken softly, hesitantly, as if River didn’t want to know the truth—as if she already knew the answer. Archer swallowed in a dry throat, wondering how to explain this to her.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t glad, not exactly. The thought of a child filled him with joy, with enthusiasm. He imagined everything he would do as a father, all the ways he would raise that child to be happy, in a way he had never been. But the thought also filled him with fear—fear of failure, fear of not being there while the child grew up, fear that something would happen to it before it even had the chance to take its first breath.
But he didn’t want to burden River with all these thoughts. He didn’t want to frighten her.
“It’s for the best if I keep me distance for a while,” he said, not giving River any further explanation. He stood from his chair, letting go of River’s hand, and made his way towards the sitting room. There, he paused by the archway and looked at River over his shoulder to find her staring at him with wide, wet eyes, her mouth hanging open ever so slightly as if his words had shocked her. “If ye need me, I’ll be in me old chambers. But I suggest ye talk to Keir instead. He will let me ken what ye need.”
With that, he was gone, disappearing into the hallway and closing the door firmly behind him, as if he could lock it through sheer force of will and keep River and the baby safe inside. For a while, he roamed the halls of the castle like a spectre, as if lost. In a way, he was—he was lost in his thoughts, in the fear that something terrible would happen and he would be too late to stop it.
But he was done reacting. He was done waiting for the next attack, for the killer to show himself. He had to do something to be a step ahead once more, to come out on top. He had to become the hunter.
I will keep her safe. I will keep them both safe, nae matter what it takes.
26
What just happened?
River sat there, on her bed under the covers, staring at the dark wall across from her. That same question returned to her mind time and time again, dragging her deeper and deeper into a grief so profound she didn’t think she could ever find her way out of it.
She had expected it, of course—or rather, she had tried to convince herself to expect it, to accept the possibility that Archer would want nothing to do with her or this child now. But she had clung onto hope and that had been her biggest mistake.
She should have never been so hopeful. She should have never allowed herself to think there was even the slightest chance that Archer would be glad to hear he would become a father. From the very first night of their marriage, he had made it clear to her that this was something he didn’t want, and now he had only confirmed it for her.
How foolish of me to think he had truly changed! I kept tellin’ meself he’s nae the man with whom I fell in love and yet I see him as that man.
Her Archer, the one who had courted her so relentlessly over the course of so many weeks, the one who had forced her to fall in love with him, was long gone. The man she had married was back, and he was nothing like her Archer.
A cold, painful sensation spread over her chest and River clutched at the fabric of her shift in an attempt to calm it. Then, her hand drifted lower, to her stomach, which showed no signs of growth so far. There was only the familiar, soft curve of her stomach, nothing to indicate there was life growing there.
But there was. Jenson had said so, and soon, it would show.
And everyone would know that Archer, their Laird, had rejected the woman who carried his child, if not his child as well.
I willnae let him use this bairn. Nae matter what, I willnae allow it.
The rest of the day passed with River in bed, pretending she was sleeping when Layla and the children came to see her. She didn’t have the heart to tell them what had happened, nor did she want them to see her like this. Every effort she made was that so Arya and Colby would be protected from it all, sheltered as much as possible from the cruelties of life, and this included Archer and her relationship with him. She didn’t want them to worry. She didn’t want them to think anything was wrong.
It was only the following morning, when she could not pretend to be asleep anymore, that she finally got out of bed and greeted Layla, who had come to her chambers alone.
That was quite unlike her. It was also quite unlike Arya and Colby. The two of them almost always followed her if they were already awake, and considering the fact that it was quite late in the day, they had to be.
