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Her face falls a little. A few moments pass and her small smile reappears. She asks, “Is that something that would help you go
through with it? If I were to go too?”
I smile softly at her, “Yeah, girl. I think so. ”
A beautiful smile graces her gorgeous face. The first real smile I’ve seen her wear in a long, long time. She dips her face towards mine and kisses my lips gently. There’s an apology in this kiss and I’m taking it. I pull her deeper into me and put my heart into this kiss. I say against her lips, “No matter what happens, I love you. You’re all I need. ”
Her arms tighten around my neck and I feel her tears fall onto my cheeks. Her voice trembles when she says, “I love you too. I just want to be perfect for you, but I’m failing at the one thing I should be able to do. I’m so sorry, Ash. ”
Burrowing my face into her neck, I speak against the side of her throat, “You are perfect, babe. You were made for me. ”
She whispers, “God, I love you so much. ”
And somehow I know everything is going to be okay.
My phone vibrating breaks us out of our deep moment. When I pick it up to check the display, I smile and answer it. I listen to the crazy-assed man ramble for a while before I answer, “We’re on our way. ”
Nat searches my face, smiling, “It’s time?”
Nodding slowly, I nod and smile back, “It’s time, babe. ”
***
We all stand around, chatting excitedly and waiting.
Everyone is in a great mood and I have to admit, I missed feeling this way. Today I’m not faking my happy. I am happy. But I’m nervous too. So nervous that my stomach is in knots and my palms are sweating.
Ash comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.
I’m so lucky to have him. I love him so much.
Turning to face him, I look into his soft brown eyes and state, “I’m happy. ”
He smiles down at me before kissing my forehead. He sighs, “That’s all I need to hear and I’m good too. ”
Rocking me gently, he whispers into my ear, “We really gonna do this therapy stuff?”
I fight the urge to shudder. From the time we got married, I’ve brought up the subject twice. Twice was enough to know he’d never do it. The first time, he just looked at me like I’d lost my mind and walked away from me. The second time, he went on about how he wasn’t going to let some quack tell him how fucked up he is because he already knows it. Both times I felt like shit for even bringing it up and eventually let it go.
Pick your battles.
Looking up at him, I nod, “Yeah, babe. It’ll be good for both of us. ”
And it will be. I feel it.
Ash cups my cheek, running his thumb over it and just as he opens his mouth to speak, he looks at the end of the hall and smiles.
Nik comes down the hall looking smug and announces, “It’s a girl!”
We all cheer and whoop. I walk over to Nik and wrap my arms around his waist. He hugs me tightly and when we pull away from each other, he sees my face and expression crosses his, almost as if he wants to apologize for being happy. I flash him a watery smile. “How’s my girl doing?”
Nik sighs. “Tired but good. She’s happy and excited. I think she just wants to get home. She hates it here. ”
I don’t blame her.
Hospitals don’t exactly bring back cheerful memories for Nik and Tina.
“Does she have a name yet?” I ask.
