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Never loved you. Never even wanted you. Always a burden. Always will be.
My stomach boils as rage controls my body.
Smash
My chest heaves rapidly as I breathe heavily through my nose. I look down at my clenched and bloody fist.
Damn it to hell.
The man’s been dead for years and he still controls you. You’re so fucking weak.
Fuck this.
I skip the shower, get dressed and wrap my wound. Then I head to work with a scowl on my face.
Cleaning the broken mirror can wait.
***
My phone blasts ‘Blister in the Sun’ by Violent Femmes and I smile. I hold the phone to my ear and answer, “Ahoy hoy. ”
Tina squeals dramatically, “Oh my God! She’s alive! Muahahahaha!”
I hear the muffled cheers of Mimi and Lola in the background. I put on my best nasal voice and say, “Mommy, I still don’t feel well. ”
Tina laughs. “Hold on, I’ll put you on loudspeaker. ” She fiddles around with the phone a few seconds before I hear her voice echo, “We miss you, hon! When are you coming back?”
I smile hard at the sound of her pitiful tone. “Tomorrow, guys. I’m a little better today, but I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow. Guess what?”
“What, ho bags?” That’s Mimi.
I crow, “My sisters are here!”
Tina gasps then whoops excitedly. “You’re kidding! That’s awesome. They have to come to the store tomorrow, we can all do lunch at The White Rabbit together!”
Lola joins the conversation, “Who with the what now?”
I chuckle, “My sisters are here and we’ll see if we can do lunch. They’re leaving in two days so I want to spend as much time with them as I can. ”
Tina says, “Okay, honey. See you tomorrow. Just take some ibuprofen and drink lots of water. ”
And that’s Tina in a nutshell. Always caring and looking out for others. And tomorrow I have to tell her about Cole. My eyes prickle.
I clear my throat and force out, “Okay guys, I miss you. See you then. ”
All three girls yell out at once. I hear a chorus of “Get better”, “Take a shower you dirty girl” and “Miss you too!” I laugh and hang up.
I get out of bed smiling.
Today’s gonna be a good day.
***
Ghost: You good to come to The White Rabbit tonight?
Lounging on my sofa watching crappy daytime TV with my sisters, my brow furrows at the text while I reply.
Me: Sure. What for?
