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So I do. I raise my head to the ceiling and everything skids to a halt.
What the fuck? Is that-? Did she-? No way.
She fucking glued pancakes on my ceiling! The crazy-assed devil woman glued motherfucking pancakes on the ceiling!
Even though I’m fucking pissed, I’m equally impressed. How the hell did she get up there?
I need coffee. I turn on the coffee pot and make my way over to the fridge. As soon as I open it and hear a crunching noise, I mentally sigh. I take the milk out of the fridge and close it. And burst into laughter. Genuine, funny-as-fuck laughter.
She fucking glued rice puffs to my refrigerator.
I can’t see the surface to it. She spent a lot of time pulling this morning’s prank and I am impressed.
This woman could give me a run for my money. I know I should be angry, but I started it and there are consequences to your actions. I’ll take it. This time. Nat just earned herself a medal in my books. Respect.
Doesn’t mean she isn’t going to get it.
Forgetting my coffee, I exit my apartment and head over to Nat’s. There’s a note on her door. With a grin, I open and read it.
You must be out of your mind if you thought I was going to stick around to see your reaction. Payback’s a bitch, bitch.
She’s lucky she isn’t here. I’d probably make her eat one of those pancakes. I turn and head back into my apartment. Making my way to the shower, I chuckle.
Fucking devil woman.
***
Mission success that early in the morning calls for a celebration and I’m celebrating with pie. Velvet choc hazelnut pie, to be exact. I buy it at a sweet little bakery which is just down the road from Safira’s. As soon as I bring it in, Tina’s all over me like whiskey on cola. She cuts herself the biggest slice ever and shoves most of it into her mouth. Moaning, she says a garbled, “This is really good. ”
I stare at her like she’s lost her damn mind. Mimi comes over and eyes the pie with avid interest. I roll my eyes at her attempt to be cunning and almost throw a piece at her. Lola sees pie and yells, “Pie!” followed by a “Whoot, whoot!”
“What’s the occasion?” Mimi asks.
Being a smartass, I tease, “Tina’s pregnant. ”
Tina almost chokes on her pie. Stunned, she looks up into my face and whispers, “How. Did. You. Know?”
Oh my God! No way!
Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, we all stare at Tina. After a few moments, she whispers, “That was meant to be a joke, wasn’t it?”
Mimi, Lola and I all nod slowly in astonishment. Tina clicks her fingers and snaps, “I knew it! Darn it to heck!”
Lola snaps us out of our stupor by jumping around and squealing, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my freaking God!”
Mimi shakes her head and pokes Tina lightly in the belly, saying “I should’ve known. You’ve been crazy emotional lately and you said you have your period when I know I didn’t. I should’ve known. Man, I’m pissed at myself!”
Unable to move, I stand where I am at the counter. Pie forgotten and with stinging eyes, I ask, “Tatiana’s gonna have a brother or sister?”
Tina smiles. “Yeah, honey. She is. I’m just past six weeks. We were going to wait til eight to tell you all. ”
Lowering my head, I cry silently. Happiness can be overwhelming that way. Sometimes you feel so full of it that you could just burst and happiness would fly out everywhere. Tina comes over to me and wraps her arms around me. We stay that way for a while. When I finally get myself together, I shriek, “Today is awesome!”
We all laugh, talk and eat pie. Turning to Tina, I utter, “Nik must’ve been on you like syrup on pancakes if he got you pregnant that quick. ”
Looking pissed, she puts her hand on her hip. “I know, right? I told him we needed to use protection but he was all,” Putting on her best deep Nik voice, “Nah, baby. You’re breastfeeding. We don’t need to use a thing. It’ll be okay. ” Her eyes widen and she continues, “The ass already knew he was knocking me up! Wasn’t even surprised when I told him I was pregnant. Just flashed me the damn dimple. ” Smiling to herself, she looks over to us and admits, “It’s a magical dimple. It makes me do things I normally wouldn’t want to. ”
Laughing our asses off at her silliness, I tell myself that even though I can’t have kids, I will stop being bitter about it. And surprisingly, I feel lighter.
