As soon as I make it to the bottom of the stairs, Pornstache reaches for his cuffs, and the front door opens behind me. River pokes his head out, his glasses in his hand, looking immensely pleased with himself. "Afternoon, Officer Davidson."
Huh. I guess Pornstache has a name.
"You." I spin toward River as Olive pulls off. "I am going to—"
"Donotfinish that sentence," he growls, his eyes narrowed on me.
"Wise advice," Davidson mutters like he's done with this whole day already, slapping cuffs on me. He doesn't put them on very tight but I'm still mad as hell. "Terroristic threats are serious."
"Precisely," River says, his eyes boring into mine. "You need to stop talking. Don't say anything else. Not a single fucking word, princess."
Well, hell. Is this man trying to help me or drive me insane? At this point, I don't even know. But the way he's looking at me like he wants to eat me alive and spank me at the same time has my whole system overloaded.
"I am so mad at you," I say, mostly because it's the only dignified thing I can think of when I'm in handcuffs, being arrested because I'm too goddamn stubborn to listen.
"I warned you." He doesn't even look ashamed of himself. Just…amused. And turned on. I bet the jerk has a humiliation kink, specifically, a humiliating me kink.
I swear to God, it's probably a good thing Loralei didn't give me his address, because I think I am actually going to murder him in his sleep now. No sense in her being implicated in my crimes.
"I'd like to go to jail now, please," I sniff to Davidson.
River just smirks at me. And goddamn him for being such a beautiful devil. "Go out with me," he mouths before I turn my back on him and stomp down the sidewalk to the cruiser.
"Hell no!" I shout. "I'd rather be Bertha's bitch in prison!"
Chapter Six
River
As soon as Davidson pulls off with Jasmine, I hop in my SUV to follow them to the precinct to bail her out. Look, I never said I had a good plan. I just said I had a plan.
And said plan does not involve leaving her sitting in jail. Hell no. It involves dropping the charges in exchange for the date shestubbornly refuses to go on. Is it diabolical? Absolutely. Should I be ashamed of myself? Fuck yes. But I'm losing my mind over this woman. If I have to resort to blackmail to get a date, then fuck it. I'm resorting to blackmail.
There's a chance I end up murdered in a back alley by a bookworm with anger issues, but it's a chance I'm willing to take.
I dial Alexa Warner, the assistant DA, on the way, my eyes locked on the cruiser ahead of me. I don't think Jasmine has noticed me following them. She's too busy ranting at Davidson, who looks like he's ready to jump out of the cruiser every time he glances in the rearview.
"Alexa Warner," she finally answers on the fifth ring.
"Hey, it's River. I need a favor," I say, rolling to a stop at the sign at the end of the block.
"What the fuck? Did you get arrested?"
"No?"
"Oh, thank god. I do not need an army of readers camped outside my office, mad as hell that your next book is going to be delayed," she sighs, sounding relieved. "What do you need?"
"I need you to refuse to file charges against Jasmine Knudsen. She was just arrested for trespassing on my property."
"Uh…"
"It's a long story."
"I've got time," Alexa says.
"I don't. I'm on the way to bail her out before she kills me for having her arrested in the first place," I say.
"Oh, absolutely not," Alexa says with a shocked laugh. "You do not get to call me for a favor like this and not explain."
