I bob my head, stumbling across the shop on numb legs. I don't even grab my bag. I don't grab anything. I just follow Olive out, praying that River knows me well enough to realize I didn't do this to him.
I think I pace his living room for two hours before Lilah calls.
"Have you found anything?" I ask, my hand white around the phone.
"Not yet," she says. "We're still looking."
"Thanks for letting me know," I mutter, too scared to hope.
"Is he there yet?" she asks.
"No. I'm going to stay and wait."
"Call me if you need me. Love you."
"Love you too," I whisper, plopping down onto the sofa. I disconnect the phone, dropping it onto the floor beside me, and then curl up into a tiny ball.
For the longest time, I just stare into the dark with tears in my eyes, fucking terrified he blames me and will never forgive me, no matter what I say.
Jail would be preferable to that. I can't live without him. I know that now. I tried that for two days after we had sex the first time. It'll be so much worse this time because Iknowhow I feel about him now.
Every piece of my heart belongs to him. He's left his mark all over it. Hell, he's left it all overme, changing me in ways I never saw coming. I don't want him to stop now.
I bury my face in a throw pillow and cry.
I think I cry myself to sleep because the next thing I know, something glides down the side of my face.
"Wake up, princess."
I stretch toward the warmth of his hand and the sound of his voice, reluctant to leave the safety of sleep. And then my brain fully registers that he's here. He's touching me.
I bolt upright with a gasp, my eyes locking on his face in the dim light. He looks exhausted, like he just climbed a mountain and fought a damn bear. But he's still so fucking beautiful to me.
"I didn't do it," I blurt, tears welling in my eyes as soon as his gaze locks with mine. "I swear to you, I didn't leak your manuscript, River."
Alarm flares in his eyes before he moves, scooping me up into his arms. I twist my fingers up in his shirt, clinging to him, like that'll keep him from hating me.
"I swear, I didn't do it," I choke out, unable to stop the tears flowing down my cheeks. I'm so fucking scared.
"Hey," he whispers, wrapping his arms around me. His hand drifts down my back. "I know. I know you didn't do this."
The conviction in his tone calms me like nothing else. I crane my head back, looking up at him. "You believe me?"
"Of course I do." He brushes his thumbs across my cheeks, his expression soft. "You wouldn't do this, even if you hated me."
"Why?" He just told me he believes me… and I'm asking for an explanation. What the fuck is wrong with me?
"A few reasons," he says, a tiny smile flickering on his lips, as if the question amuses him. "First, you're a fucking terrible criminal. You always give away your plans because of that temper. Second, stalking and harassment are your things, not theft. Third, you love me."
I go still on his lap, not even breathing. "What? I…"
Before I can even process that he knows how I feel about him, he has me pinned to the couch, his hard body covering mine. "You going to make me fuck you into telling me the truth?" he growls. "You know I will."
"I…I…" I gulp, panicking at the look in his eyes. This is not how I was supposed to tell him. I wasn't supposed to be crying! He wasn't supposed to have had the worst day ever.
Suddenly, saying it with him inside me feels a lot less cliché than it did a few hours ago. But…he already knows. Why the hell am I hesitating now? He knows, and he's still here, looking at me like he wants to eat me alive.He knows.
"I do," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I'm so damn in love with you, River."
