‘The truth of the matter is that soldiers spend more time fighting discomforts, disease and boredom of mind, ma’am. One has always to be prepared for battle, but we encounter mud, rain, sunburn, poor food and fevers far more often.’
‘Then why do it? I mean, you could have stayed in Gloucestershire.’ It was a genuine question.
‘I think young men fancy the concept of being a soldier because it appeals to the idea that they will be able to prove themselves, and that it will be an adventure. I suppose we dream of being heroic. The reality is … different. I do not think I have been heroic, but I have proved myself, to myself, if you can see what I mean. I have endured the discomforts, faced fear and overcome it, and, strange as it may seem, been part of a camaraderie one could not find as close as among men who have to fight alongside each other, for each other, and face injury or death. It was Shakespeare, was it not, who wrote about a “band of brothers”? Well, I have been of such a band, and …’ He had trailed off, for Miss Banham’s eyes were misted,201and Lady Roxton was looking at him in a way he could not quite define. He coloured. ‘My apologies, ladies. Not the sort of thing a gentlemen should discuss before the gentle sex. Lord Cradley has all the advantages, for he can discuss manners and fashions and I have spent the last six years in the army, which makes me unfit for delicate company.’
‘You mistake, Sir Harry,’ said Miss Banham, softly. ‘Just because we do not know of such things does not mean we should not know of them. Oh, not the bloodthirsty things, but what it really means to be a soldier. It is humbling, and it is, yes, it is heroic. Men and women are different, but we can appreciate that a man needs to feel tested, as a man. At least,’ she paused, thoughtfully, ‘some men do.’ It occurred to her that her older brother would not seek to test himself under privation and danger, and nor would Lord Cradley.
Lady Roxton, who had listened to his explanation from a mother’s standpoint, and discovered a new respect for the composure of Lady Penwood, nodded.
‘C’est vrai. It has always been so, that the man has need to show hiscourage, his … what is the word? Ah yes, his mettle. When men were savages, did they not go out to hunt the bear and the wolf, or fight other men? A woman, she does not seek such things, though she would fight to the death to protect her children.’
There had followed a silence, which was a combination of embarrassment on his part, and an awareness by the ladies that changing the topic to something202inconsequential felt vaguely indecent. In the end, he had made further apologies and excused himself, curtailing his visit and feeling a fool. Cradley had brought out smiles and laughter and he had brought out frowns and introspection. Deep down it felt wrong that the man who had the silvered tongue and smooth looks should prevail over the one who had done the equivalent of ‘hunt the bear’, but Harry realised that was just a primaeval response. He had not advanced his cause with Miss Banham, and the more he thought about the softness in her voice and the film of tears in her eyes when she had heard him, the more he liked her.
It was therefore a rather despondent Harry Penwood who presented himself at the dower house, where his reception was always warm and friendly.
Mary, who was cobbling together, rather than darning, a moth hole in a favoured winter shawl, looked up with just the friendly smile Harry Penwood needed when he was announced, and Lady Damerham immediately ordered coffee and began to tell him how the weather was changing, even though it was he who had been outdoors and she had not gone further than looking out the window since church on Sunday. It took some minutes before she stopped speaking, by which time she was talking about her aunt’s pug dog, which she remembered from when she was a child. Mary’s eyes held his and exchanged silent laughter. It was one of those things they could do, understand the other without203words, even though they had been apart for much of the last few years. As coffee and Mrs Holt’s almond biscuits were handed round, he told them of his encounter at the Roxtons’.
‘I am not saying he haunts the place, for I have no evidence of it, but I dislike him being too much in Miss Banham’s company. He is all smooth words and not a hair out of place and …’ Harry sighed, ‘I suppose I am jealous because he is all the things I am not, and just what would attract a young lady.’
‘Well, you are right and you are wrong at one and the same time, my friend,’ declared Mary, firmly. ‘He is certainly everything you are not because he strikes me as a crafty, coiled snake of a man, not at all honest in character, eager to wheedle and also to use clever barbed words to hurt, and that is the opposite of you. Sir Rowland and I met him the other day,’ she did not make poor Harry feel worse by telling him that Lord Cradley was with Madeleine Banham, ‘and he raised the hackles upon us both, for he intimated insults which could be denied if he was pressed, and he enjoyed every minute of it. Now, he repels me, but I agree that at first glance, an impressionable and innocent young lady might be impressed and overawed by his glamour, but Miss Banham is not merely a pretty face, and I have no doubt that as she sees him more, she will like him less.’
‘Are you sure, Mary?’ Harry sought reassurance.
‘Utterly.’204
‘I have not myself met the gentleman,’ said Lady Damerham, with an odd mixture of relief and regret, which was explained by her next words. ‘You would have thought he would have had the courtesy by now to leave his card. Now, I am sure you will say he has not called upon you either, but in view of your mama being so recently into deep mourning that might be reasonable, but everyone knows it is over a year now and … do you think Lord Cradley, the previous one, left him a missive about the bad feeling between the two families?’
‘Well, one must doubt it, Mama, since he was not on good terms with the current Lord Cradley either. One does wonder where that particular animosity came from, of course.’ Mary frowned a little.
‘Then why has he been so remiss? Not that I want to meet him after what has been said, but it is a matter of principle.’
‘So, you want a man to come to see you, even though you do not want to see him.’ Mary laughed.
‘Yes. No. Yes. Oh, do not laugh at me, dearest, really.’ Lady Damerham looked flustered.
‘I am sorry, Mama, but it does sound droll, even though I do understand what you mean. Suffice to say that having encountered him now upon three occasions, I can safely say that if I never met him again I would be delighted.’
‘I do not know whether to be pleased that my opinion of him is shared or concerned even more for Miss Banham,’ sighed Harry.205
‘She has a mama who is no fool, and a papa who cherishes her also. I do not think that you need man barricades at their gates, at least not yet.’ Mary smiled at him, but in a reassuring way.
‘By the by, Sir Rowland has not left his card but did send my mama a very courteous letter, expressing himself as a gentleman ought with condolences that were neither cursory nor over effusive, since he never met my father. He also added that as soon as she felt she could attend small private dinners with friends, that he hoped we would both dine at Tapley End, and in the meantime he looked forward to meeting me when it was convenient. Very civil I thought it.’ Harry looked at the clock. ‘I had better get back to Mama for luncheon, since she thought I was only going to Hazelwood. I might go and see Kempsey this afternoon.’
‘Well, you will have to have a very swift luncheon, for I am giving him another fishing lesson at three of the clock,’ announced Mary, with a look that dared him to say anything. This of course meant that he just had to respond.
‘Then I might make it tomorrow and give him time to recover.’ He grinned, but then his expression changed, for Mary did not smile back. She frowned.
‘Am I such a gorgon, Harry?’
‘Oh, of course you are not. Come, it is not like you not to see when I am funning.’ He gave her a quizzical look. ‘Something has put you on end.’
‘No, no, it is just … no, nothing. You are right, and I206was not thinking, or rather I was overthinking, I think.’ She laughed, having made it a joke when she did not feel it as one. ‘I promise he will not be some nervous wreck when you meet. As I said before, I think you and he will get on rather well.’
‘I hope so. There are not so many of us younger fellows about the district, and having discounted Cradley … I really must take my leave of you both. Your servant, Lady Damerham, and yours too, Mary, despite all.’
He had risen, and now bowed to the two ladies, departing in a slightly better frame of mind than he had arrived.
Mary picked absent-mindedly at the food on her plate at luncheon, but Lady Damerham wisely refrained from asking if she felt quite well, since she could see that it was not so much a lack of appetite as mental distraction. She could not see how teaching someone how to throw a length of line into a lake and wait to see if a fish bit it was difficult, but perhaps it was more complicated than it looked. She would have been astounded to have found that her daughter was thinking about trying to land not a two-pound trout but a six-foot baronet, for she had decided that Mary was too pragmatic to waste her time attempting the impossible.
