Ryder supposed he could be. Ash wasn’t the only one who wanted Spencer with them, and Ash’s “no talking, full secrecy” method had probably delayed things a lot longer than a direct approach, all Spencer’s caginess aside.
But Ryder remembered what it had been like to present as an alpha. His presentation had been shorter and more predictable than Ash’s, but it hadn’t felt any less alarming at the time. One moment Ryder had been sitting with his best friend in the whole world, content to play video games in separate chairs, and in the next he’d had the overwhelming urge to pick Ash up and bite him all over. Maul him with his teeth and mark him for eternity.
Freaked out over the sudden violence of his thoughts, Ryder had fled. He’d gone home in a rush, out of his mind with worry and shame, and his first rut had started soon after. Ryder had been fine in the end, his rut eased by the meds his dad had gotten for him already. And when he’d come out of it, he’d felt more like himself, if maybe a bit more inclined to want to nibble on Ash’s neck. But that transition part—the part that was so prolonged in Ash’s case—wasn’t made for clear thinking.
Ryder knelt in front of Ash’s chair, putting them closer to eye level. “Ash, it’s only been a day. You really want me to be pissed at you?”
Ash dropped his head onto Ryder’s shoulder. “Maybe,” he mumbled. “It might feel easier.” He let out a sigh. “His face when he left … I want to tell him I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“Do you think it’s too much, wanting both of you? Maybe it’s just selfish greed.”
Ryder thought before speaking. “I think you need more than you were told to expect from all this … love and romance and these bullshit alpha-omega dynamics. I think Spencer needs more love than he thinks he deserves. And I think I need to care for you both.Ineed it. Not just you.” He stroked a hand through Ash’s curls. “We can all be greedy together.”
“It sounds pretty decent when you say it like that.” There was another long silence, Ash’s breath warm and steady against Ryder’s neck. “You think we can be good enough?” Ash asked eventually.
“For what?”
“All that love.”
Ryder rubbed a hand over Ash’s back. “Yeah, I do. It just takes practice, maybe. Time.”
Outside the office, Damon greeted someone, maybe a new customer. But it was a familiar voice that replied to him. Ryder pulled back to listen, and Ash stiffened at the same time.
Yeah, that was a very familiar voice.
Ash went pale as he met Ryder’s eyes. “Did he text you?”
“No.” Ryder cocked his head, trying to make out what was being said. There weren’t any raised voices or anything. Somehow, that didn’t have Ash looking any less panicked.
Ryder got to his feet. “You want me to go out first?”
“Could you?” Ash asked, sounding as relieved as he might have if Ryder had just offered to take a bullet for him.
“Yeah, bright eyes. But when hedoescome in …”
Ash nodded. “Words. All the words.”
Ryder nodded back, just as solemn. “All the words.”
ItwasSpencer talking to Damon. He was standing to the side of the service bay, gesticulating wildly while Damon gave his best bouncer impression.
The expression on Spencer’s face when he clocked Ryder was hard to read: hope, maybe, mixed with a small dash of fear. His dark hair was damp, the ends falling in front of his eyes in a way that was less deliberate than usual, like he hadn’t waited to style it after his shower before coming to find them.
After a moment, Spencer waved sheepishly at Ryder. “Noah said you might be here,” he called over the noise of the garage.
Ryder walked up and ignored Damon completely in favor of sweeping Spencer into a tight hug. He smelled like soap and spices and hints of Noah’s beachy pheromones, like he’d been comforted by his roommates all night, enough so that a shower hadn’t washed it off completely.
Spencer stood completely still for a moment, and then he hugged Ryder back with all the force of his pretty muscles, tucking his head into Ryder’s neck and breathing him in. It was remarkably similar to the way Ash had just been resting against him a minute ago.
“You give really good hugs,” Spencer said softly, the words spoken into Ryder’s skin. “Why haven’t I been getting more of them?”
“You can have as many as you want,” Ryder told him fiercely.
There was an unsubtle cough as Damon excused himself, which they both ignored. Spencer broke the hug after a long moment, and his gaze homed in on the office. “Ash is in there?”
“Yeah. You can scent him?”
