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Max looked down at me, eyes hooded, mouth slightly parted. It was always like this with him. He had no poker face. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and I loved that.
I loved him.
This was still not something I was willing to put out there. Hell, I didn’t know if I ever wanted to put it out there. I knew it was too soon. I knew it would freak the fuck out of Max. I decided to work on him slowly. If I spooked him, he’d run. I couldn’t lose him. He was already part of me. So was Ceecee. I was done fighting it.
Max was my one exception. He was likely one of the only men out there who would not only support my work choice, but also be proud of me for doing it. And if long hours and weekends were shot, I know he would understand. After all, his work at the club was not during the most convenient hours either. But I was willing to deal.
I was happy keeping my secret, and would do whatever it took for it to remain that way. The only person I would have to careful around was Nik. The man saw everything.
Max gently reached down, cupping my cheek with one hand, while lifting my long hair over my shoulder with the other. I looked up once more, holding his heavy cock, gently kissing the head. Blinking, I whispered, “So big.”
He gripped my chin, his lips twisting into a small, sexy smile as he rumbled, “You like it, baby? Say you like my cock.”
It wasn’t really a request. It was a demand. My core clenched and I licked the sensitive underside. Speaking against his throbbing length, I sighed softly, “I love it.” I love you.
My lips parted, and with him guiding me by his hold on my chin, I took in what I could of him. But it wasn’t easy. For the amount of smart-assing and shit-talking we manage, my sisters and I have quite the small mouths. Curse it to heck.
Opening my mouth wide, I took in a little more, sucking him deep. Max threw his head back, one hand at my chin, the other now fisting the hair at my nape. At the slight pain, I moaned around him, and his fingers tightened around the loose strands of my hair as he gently thrust in and out of my mouth.
At one point, he thrust a little too hard without meaning to and I gagged. Imagine my shock when that only fueled Max’s fire. The dirty fucker.
I knew the exact moment he lost control. His hooded eyes trained on where my mouth wrapped around his cock and he growled, a low, animalistic sound I was starting to love to hear, and I heard it every time I put my hands on him. I was wetter than I should have been. Giving head shouldn’t be that much of a turn on, right? Regardless, I was soaked, and even though I wanted him inside me, I would settle for watching Max lose control, because watching Max lose control was becoming my most favorite thing to witness.
The hand in my hair loosened before both of his hands cupped my cheeks. He made low rumbling noises in his throat as he quickened his thrusts, his brows furrowed in concentration, watching me closely. He was almost there. He stopped his thrusting and I began stroking him as I kept sucking as deep as I could. Breathing heavily, he cursed. “Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come.”
When he tried to pull out, I tightened my fingers around him and sucked harder, willing him to understand I wouldn’t be letting him go this time. His eyes snapped open. “Are you sure?”
Jeez, Max. I’m kinda busy here. You mind saving the questions ‘til after?
Not willing to take my mouth off him, I sucked deeper, faster. His chest heaved with every breath he took, groaning in pure pleasure. It almost sounded like a purr. He released my cheeks to run his thumb over my bottom lip as I bobbed my head onto him. He muttered, “So pretty. You’re so fuckin’ pretty.”
That was that. When he came, he came fluidly. This was not hot, harsh sex. This was pure intimacy, made more intimate as I swallowed every spurt of the warm saltiness of my reward. His pleasure was my reward. We stayed that way for a long while. His throbbing cock now softening, I gently released him, running my tongue along his still impr
essive length. He shuddered, blinking down at me drowsily.
I had to smile. I’d done that to him. I loved that so damn much. So when Max opened his mouth, I’d expected something just as intimate as my act to follow.
I was wrong.
He helped me up, pulling me to him, then he squeezed me tight.
This is nice, I thought. I buried my nose into his neck and breathed in the subtle scent of his cologne. Pulling back, he kissed my cheek before tucking himself back in and smiling down at me. “Thanks, cupcake.” He sighed, contently. “I needed that.”
My face fell. I blinked. It took a moment to register what he’d just said. Obviously I had misread what this was. This date was not a step forward in our non-relationship. This was nothing to him. This was the reason I needed to hide my feelings. This was the reason I’d likely be single forever.
And that fucking sucked.
Pun intended.
***
Max
The moment I said what I said, I saw the look on her face. The disappointment, the sadness and hurt. Did I really just thank her for one of the best blowjobs in my life?
This is why I’m going to be single forever.
I’m a coward, and a royal fuck-up.
