Luke nods slowly, exhaling through his button nose. How is something so small so irresistibly charming? For the millionth time, I silently congratulate myself on bagging such a pretty man. “I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself. I told you thediuresis effect would slow down once your body adjusted. You need to be more patient, that’s all.”
He purses his lips.
“And have you thought any more about attending another of the Fighting Blindness meetings? Or have you decided they’re not for you either?”
Another lip purse. So kissable. “Um… that second part. They seem to have slipped my busy schedule.”
“When’s the next?”
“There’s one every alternate Saturday afternoon. First and third Saturdays of the month.”
“Where are they held?”
“In a back room of a library over at Maida Vale.”
Luke tears another bite from his toast, munching neatly, and I realise I’ve said the wrong thing. “Today’s Saturday,” he observes. “The third one of this month.”
“Is it?”
He makes a resigned noise; I sense a lecture coming. “You’re impossible.”
“It took you this long to notice?”
He tries to glare, but a small smile creeps through anyhow. “No, but now I’m feeling better and reenergised. Before, when I was ill, I let you get away with it.”
I lean across and kiss him, dragging my teeth along his stubbled jaw. “At least you’ll never get bored.” Shuffling closer and cupping his chin, I kiss him more thoroughly, toast crumbs, granola, and all. Maybe I’ll suggest we return to bed.
“Stop trying to distract me.” Luke pushes me off. “You’re very sexy and everything, but it won’t work. This is serious, Neil.”
“Huh.”
Reluctantly, I pick up my spoon again. Luke tilts his head and narrows his eyes, gearing up to tell me off. So he thinks I’mvery sexy and everything.Great, but the lecture’s coming whether Iwant it or not. As we stare at each other, both trying to glare and both failing, something massive suddenly slots into place. So huge I bite the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh.
I don’t know whether he loves me yet; maybe he doesn’t know either. But he cares, massively. That’s what being his best friend means. I’m not simply an experienced hot lay, and he’s not simply doing his doctorly duty by me. He showed me his scars because he cares. He lets me pet his hair because he cares. And he’s attempting to scold me because hecares. It’s fucking awesome. And hot. I now want him to scold me some more whilst he’s sat in my lap and I’m petting his hair.
“Come here.” I pat my knee, scraping my seat back and away from the table. “I need you closer. Can’t see you properly over there—the light is shining too brightly behind you. Dazzling my cataract.”
I’m not sure Luke falls for it, but he’s too preoccupied with getting his point across to argue. Once he’s comfortable, his arm back around my shoulder and his arse nestled rather pleasantly on my semi, he carries on. “Going to that meeting isn’t a step back. It’s a step forward, Neil.”
“You’re right.” Yep, I legit find it hot.
“It’s part of the climb. Laying groundwork, preparing you for the future.”
I press my mouth to one of the bald spots on the side of his head. The hair around it is fluffy and soft. Did I ever mention my rash whisperer is cute? Cute and hot.
“You really should attend a few of the meetings,” he persists. “You’ll learn a few tips.”
“I daresay, but you haven’t met Derek. He dresses like a kids' TV presenter and talks like every sentence is underlined.”
Though Luke sighs, he doesn’t stop me nuzzling his head. “Listen. Not everyone’s style suits you. For instance, I don’t always gel with every patient referred to me. Sometimes, as thepatient walks out of a consultation, I thinkthat didn’t go very well.Not because I did a bad job, but because as two human beings who wouldn’t normally collide, we’re plunged into a serious, sometimes quite personal conversation. Except maybe the way the patient’s punchy husband repeatedly talked over her irritated the hell out of me, and maybe it showed in my voice. Or perhaps neither of them warmed to a guy with clumps of hair missing and a slightly effeminate manner. Maybe they’re homophobic, or were hoping to see someone older, wearing a suit and with more gravitas. But as long as I wave them off thinking I did my best, and she walks away with the information and treatment she needs, then our own in-built prejudices don’t matter. That’s just how it goes sometimes. You and Derek aren’t planning a holiday together. You’re trying to learn as much as you can about living with RP, and he’s trying to share all his information.”
When the lecture comes to an end, Luke crunches on another mouthful of toast. Throughout, the hand around my shoulders absentmindedly strokes my ear.
“Is this you breaking the news that the world isn’t tailored specifically around me and my needs?” I pout, making him smile, then wipe away a crumb clinging to his upper lip. “In which case I demand a refund.”
Luke shrugs. “If it’s any consolation, isn’t especially tailored for me either, but we have to do the best we can. Derek’s style of imparting information isn’t purposely designed to alienate you.”
He’s right of course; I just didn’t want to see it. My dislike of Derek is nothing but another road block I erected to delay facing the truth. I swoop in to steal a kiss from Luke’s neck. “Not just a pretty face are you?”
