“So when you’re done here…” I made rivers in the fabric with my pointer finger. “You leave?”
Calder reached for me, dragging me back down and against his side.
“I don’t know how this will work, Shay,” he said, stroking up and down my back. “You deserve more than a ghost for a boyfriend, someone who can only give you glimpses at a life.”
I lifted myself up again so I could catch his gaze. So he couldseehow serious I was about this.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said. “We’ll see each other when we can, even if it’s secret. Even if it’s only for a little.”
He shook his head. “You have a life here. You have a grant?—”
“I don’t have it,” I said.
“Youwill,” he said, stern.
He continued to trace up and down my spine, our stares locked. I thought about what he said, deserving a life, not glimpses of it.
And then it hit me.
“Even with a ring on my finger and a white picket fence, there’s no guarantee,” I said. “My father married my mom, and he still left. Graham gave me a ring, and still abused me.”
At the mention of Graham, his hand stilled on my back, jaw clenched.
“I don’t need you to promise me a life,” I said. His brow pinched, like he wanted to contradict me. “Idon’t,” I emphasized, and leaned forward, until our noses were nearlytouching. “Just promise me you won’t give up today, because tomorrow might not come.”
Then I kissed him, proving my earnestness with my lips.
What started out as a soft kiss quickly turned demanding. Calder gripped my lower back, tugging me tight against him, groaning against my mouth. He devoured my lips and any breath I had, tongue snaking in.
Until I was hot and aching and restless.
Then he pulled back, lips still touching mine, and said, “I promise.”
chapter
fifty-two
CALDER
Promise me you won’t give up today, because tomorrow might not come.
I drove to work the next day, mind spinning around ways togeta tomorrow with Shay. I wanted all her tomorrows.
I pulled into the empty lot of the monochrome office building. Outside, February was giving way to March. The breeze, while still cold, was not fragile and bitter like early winter. It was a downy chill, reserved for a lemon sun and trees fresh with blossoms.
I half expected Andrew to be waiting for me. The last time I saw him he was unhinged. But I didn’t even see his car.
My mind drifted once more to Shay.
The truth was, I had no idea how this was going to work. Shay and I existed only in a fucking fairy tale, but I also knew I couldn’t let her go. And the fact that in the few days I didn’t see her, she got hurt, and that asshole wasstillout there? Further solidified it?—
“Hey, hero.”
God fucking damn it.
I turned to find Butcher leaning against the wall next to the building’s entrance.
“What the fuck do you want?” I asked.
