Now you.
College. With my ex. It was very cliché.
Roses and wine?
I nearly laughed. I wished.It hadn’t beenbad, but…I’d told Graham I wasn’t ready. I started typing then stopped.
Tapping out? Don’t forget to send a picture before you do.
No.
Fuck. Okay. I was doing this.
He said just the tip. It was more than the tip.
Void started typing, then stopped. His response took long enough for Olly and Lithie to agree that fine, at least she’d dumped the other guy that everyone hated, and for Eames to turn the TV back on.
Insecurity crept up my spine.
What’s his name?
I think you owe me like two questions now.
Tell me his name, Shay.
What would happen if I gave my stalker my asshole ex’s name? Goose bumps peppered my flesh. I’d never had someone be protective of me before. I knew it was crazy and wrong and anti-feminist and a bunch of other things, but a soft warmth diffused through my body at the thought.
“Who are you texting?” Lithie asked. “Everyone you know is here.”
I scoffed. “I have friends outside of you.”
“Name one.”
Eames paused the TV, and they all turned to me.
I struggled to think of a name. “J…Joseph.”
“Joseph?” Lithie arched a brow. “What’s his last name?”
“Jingleheimer Schmidt,” I muttered. “Fine,” I said and set my phone down. “I was looking up spoilers.”
“Heretic!” Lithie said.
“Witch!” Olly said.
After two more episodes than we said we’d watch that night, landing us at a total of six, plus double that amount of bickering between Olly and Lithie, I climbed into bed.
I curled into my soft pink duvet and stared up at the hundreds of glow stars I’d put on the ceiling. As I was wondering whether not answering Void’s question meant I’d never hear from him, my phone buzzed and rattled on the nightstand.
I picked it up, finding a message from Void.
When was the last time you wanted to say no, but didn’t?
The phone’s blue light shone into my bedroom. The last time? Oh, probably two hours ago, when Lithie asked if I wanted to get up for yoga in the morning. Or even just earlier today, when someone cut in front of me in line, then asked if I cared.
A better question would be, when was the last time I actually said no?
What do you do when you want to say no, but don’t?
