I’d already hung my cut up in the foyer and took off my boots. So, I don’t even think about it. I climb up on the bed behind my woman. I snake my arm around her side, flattening my hand out against her stomach, curling into her. I know the instant she comes awake. She doesn’t speak, but the shift in her breathing is noticeable. I wait to see if she’s going to pull away from me. Instead, Her hand moves over mine. She weaves our fingers together and the tight hold on my heart loosens.
“I was worried,” I admit softly kissing the back of her shoulder.
“I still am.”
“Do you want to talk about it now?” I ask, kind of praying she doesn’t.
“We’ve got him for blackmailing of a formal federal judge, jury tampering, and embezzling from his firm. That should destroy any influence or standing he has, plus give him a nice vacation in a state penitentiary.On top of that, we have sworn statements from six women that he’d been cheating with when married to Daphne. Now, that won’t have influence in court for the divorce, because Kentucky is a no-fault state. What they have to say about how he would pay them for their silence so he could let his anger out on them, will speak volumes. Apparently, he told three of them that he had to keep this side hidden from his wife because—and I’m quoting him so don’t shoot me—the bitch got pregnant despite being on birth control. There was no way he could hit her because her father was in a local thug gang and would try to kill him.”
“I should have done the world a favor and killed him years ago. I knew he was no good,” Sabre grouses. “I just didn’t realize how bad he was.”
“I need you to tell me what really happened. Why were you arrested and charged with a felony?” she asks.
I suck in a breath, flipping over on my back, before I exhale. I scrub my hands against my face. I expected Daphne to pull away, but instead she turns to face me, curling into my side and draping her leg over both of mine.
“I would’ve told you sooner, baby. I kept putting it off because I didn’t want to lose you.”
Her fingers slide against my chest as she outlines the broken heart tattoo I have on my chest. I got it to remember never to be stupid again. Nora did a number on me. Now I regret it, because I know she was never in my heart.
“Unless you did something completely heinous, which I don’t believe you have the evil to do, I’m not going anywhere. I just need to understand, because Dane is planning on making our lives hell.”
“That asshole won’t get the chance to touch you or Cammie. I promise you. I don’t know how he found out—but he’s a lawyer, so unfortunately, I figure it was pretty easy for him. Still, I anticipated what he would do. Sabre and I had the men working on a way to get out from under his thumb and we have it. I just need you to believe in me.”
She angles her body so she’s leaning up, her face much closer to mine as she looks down at me. “I do believe in you,” she whispers. “I would have never fallen in low with you if I didn’t trust you, Eli. You saved my brother, helped drag my brother out of hole he had been lost in for way too long. You made Cammie and I laugh again, something I wasn’t sure I’d ever do again. In my eyes, you can do anything. Belief doesn’t even begin to describe all of the confidence I have in you, honey.”
“God, I love you.”
“I love you, too, but right now, I need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me everything.”
“My old man,” I let out a bone deep sigh and close my eyes. If I had to relive this, I don’t want to do it seeing Daphne’s reactions. I don’t want her pity and I sure as hell don’t want to see her disgust. “He wasn’t a nice guy, sweetheart. He was scum. Outwardly my Mom and I pretended everything was storybook perfect. If we didn’t, he made us pay. I was a senior in high school—had a scholarship to college. I was going to play baseball. It was all set.”
“I didn’t know you played baseball,” she whispers.
“I don’t anymore,” I say, unable to keep some of the bitterness out of my tone. “Anyways, there was this girl in school. Gracie Conley. She was quiet but had pretty hazel eyes. Icould just look at her and know she had a hard life. It was a face I saw in the mirror every day. She asked me if was going to go to the prom. I didn’t want to. I didn’t have the tux and shit other kids wore. She was pretty, though, and I was a horny kid, so I decided to go.”
“Ick. I’m not sure I want to hear this. I prefer to think of you as a very old virgin who is just naturally good in bed. That way I don’t have to look at other women and want to scratch their eyes out,” Daphne grumbles.
“There’s no one for me but you, sweetheart,” I vow, kissing her lips briefly. “I think I should spare you what happened at the prom beneath the stars.”
“I’d appreciate it,” she grumbles. I twirl my finger around her a copper curl, wondering how in the world I ended up in a world where this gorgeous woman would not only share her life with me, but would stand by me and not doubt me in the face of everything. I’m not stupid. I know that asshole had to have threatened taking Cammie away. Yet, here she is calm after an initial breakdown—which was more than expected. She maintained faith in me. Her love humbles me. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she knows that I love her the same way. “Eli?” she prompts
I give her a weak smile. My story gets worse here and I hate having to tell her. I don’t want my past to darken her eyes with pity or disgust. I don’t want to let it taint who she is. I know I don’t have a choice, but fuck, I wish I did.
“I could hear the screaming from the driveway as I walked past the mailbox.Mom’s voice was hoarse, Dad was slurring his words, and there was so much anger and venom spewing out of him. I stopped there, found myself leaning on that rusty old mailbox. It felt like my shoes were stuck in cement. I couldn’t breathe. The screaming echoed around me, but it was like I was stuck on a runaway carousel, where all the pretty horses andbenches blurred, going faster and faster, but all I could do was hold on.”
“Panic attack,” she murmurs. I squeeze her hand which had somehow found its way to mine. I don’t deny what she’s saying, because I’ve had numerous therapists tell me that same thing. It didn’t take away the guilt or the pain that I deal with. So, to me, what it was didn’t matter to me. It was just one more thing to add to the night that I did wrong. “Keep going. After his you never have to mention it again. We’ll bury the ghosts and build our lives looking toward the future. A life full of our children and years of love and laughter,” she promises and fuck, this woman has no idea how bad I want that.How bad I need it.
“I don’t know how long I stood like that. The next thing I truly remember was this loud sound. A gunshot echoed all around me. I heard my mother scream. I took off running. I couldn’t catch my breath. I ripped open the front door to find a scene out of a horror movie. My mother was lying in a pool of blood, her eyes vacant. I dropped down on my knees, wanting to help her, but it was already too late.”
“Oh, Eli,” she whispers, her fingers brushing against my cheek. I didn’t realize I was crying, until she gathered the evidence on her fingertips.
“I started screaming at my father. Over and over, I just shrieked that he killed her. Dad yelled back telling me to shut up, but I didn’t listen. I just kept on, over and over. Dad launched himself at me. He began hitting me. I tried to push him off of me. I was strong, but Dad was an underground cage fighter. He was older than me, but he had years of experience on how to neutralize and destroy an opponent. He wouldn’t stop. He kept saying I was the reason she was dead. That it was all my fault. He slapped me across the face, and somehow that hurt more than all of his hits he made with his fist and by kicking me. Then, he spit on my face and called me worthless. He turned towalk away, and I don’t know. It’s kind of a blur, but something broke inside of me. I charged at him and began hitting him one right after the other—wanting him to feel all of the pain he had inflicted on me and Mom through the years. I finally forced myself to pull away from him, but he was swaying. I gave him one final push, needing to see him crash onto the floor. Except when I shoved him, it must have been harder than I realized. He didn’t just crumple to the floor. He fell back with the force of my shove and his head hit the corner of the coffee table. It hit his temple. The neighbors had called the police, but by the time they got there, both my parents were dead.”
“Eli …”
“I was seventeen. Old enough to be tried as an adult. They kept me in the system for a year in Tennessee, while I awaited my trial. I think the judge and my public defender were just stalling. I was guilty according to the law, but public sentiment supported the kid whose mother had been killed. I underwent a lot of therapy and testing. In the end the prosecutor opted to offer me a deal. Time served, probation for a year longer, something called an Alford Plea. Which was basically me saying I was innocent but realizing they may have enough evidence to convict me if I kept pushing it. I didn’t really care by that point. I just wanted it done. My record was to be expunged after a year, if I stayed out of trouble. Yet, it always turned up in my history. Getting a job was next to impossible. I finally decided to try for the military. Someone told me there was a good chance I could get a waiver, there and they’d accept me.” I take a breath—having almost told the story as a robot, just trying to get it out, while avoiding Daphne’s eyes. “It worked,” I finally end with a shrug.
“Eli, look at me,” Daphne pleads.
