Her father died before she landed in Orkney and she never had the chance to tell him she was sorry she left him, and that she loved him. She would never again hear him call her ‘Teenie’, his pet name for her when she was a little girl.
Then there was Liv. She hadn’t seen her older sister in months. Evie and her friends had paid for Liv to go into rehab and helped her find a rented flat in Stromness. As far as she knew, her sister was still clean and holding down a job as a waitress.
Evie had sent her a few texts but heard nothing back and had eventually given up. Despite this, Evie had decided from the start to give Liv a founding stake in her gallery, but hadn’t worked up the courage to tell her yet. Liv had been so defensive about the money for her rehab, and Evie wasn’t sure how her sister would react. But it was important to Evie that there was some fairness between them both. She had been left the house by her father, and so felt giving Liv a stake in her businessredressed that balance, but she’d need to let Liv know soon and have all the paperwork drawn up.
Then there was her mother. The last time Evie went to see Cara in the care home, she hadn’t recognised her at all, and that had hit hard.
Even if Cara had never been the mother Evie and Liv had needed, there was still the heartache of watching the person who raised you slowly disappear.
Evie wasn’t sure what Amelia was expecting, but their family was complicated, and she still wasn’t at all sure how much she wanted to let this stranger into her life, even if they were related. Would it bring back those dark feelings from the past when she’d finally found peace in the present?
Her iPad pinged. Amelia had replied right away.
Evie
You have no idea how much this means to me!I am checking flights now and will let you know when I am due to arrive.I don’t want to bother you too much and I know you are really busy but it would be so helpful if you could give me some tips on somewhere to stay?
It would be wonderful to talk to someone who knew Sheila and might even have met my dad and I would love to talk to you and your sister Liv about your parents, and to meet all the relatives on Hrossey.Let’s keep in touch.
Thank you again. See you soon.
Amelia xx
‘Well,’ thought Evie, her heart racing. ‘There’s no going back now.’
She knew nothing about Amelia and hadn’t wanted to ask her too many questions in her email, so she scrolled throughFacebook and Instagram trying to find an Amelia McLean. She didn’t have much to go on. She didn’t even know Amelia’s age or even her address or place of work.
There was a long list, but no sign of anyone who might fit the description. She was pretty sure that she wasn’t a 29-year-old ski instructor in Utah or a bizarre Kardashian lookalike from Santa Monica. Evie sighed and got up to make herself a coffee. She felt like she was being daft, but just couldn’t shake off feelings of dread.
Chapter Eleven
Fairfax, 1979
It was inevitable that James and Eloise would end up getting married. They enjoyed each other’s company and Eloise was more like a mother to little Amelia than a nanny. She wasn’t an easy baby and screamed through the night, racked with colic, her red angry face wet with tears.
James would never have coped on his own, but Eloise spent hours trying to soothe the fractious child. He proposed to her on Amelia’s first birthday, mostly out of desperation to make sure she wouldn’t get fed up and leave him on his own with his bad-tempered daughter. To his surprise and relief, Eloise agreed.
James had discovered he was the kind of man who needed a woman around. Up until he had met Marge he had no idea of how much better life could be with the right person at his side. He had come to value companionship and, it had to be said, being well looked after.
James also knew he wouldn’t be able to cope with Amelia without Eloise around to help. It was tough enough having a baby, but Amelia would soon be at school, and then there would be the horrors of boys buzzing around her. He didn’t have the energy to deal with all of that on his own.
He had such mixed emotions about his child. She made him feel guilty, resentful and baffled, but also inadequate andweak, and mixed in with all of that he felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness. In order to function he needed Eloise. Thank God she had agreed to be his wife.
Eloise had actually grabbed his gruff marriage proposal with both hands. She was lonely and missed having people to look after, and both James and Amelia needed a lot of care and attention. She knew some people would make fun of her and James walking down the aisle at their age, but she didn’t care.
Eloise just liked to feel useful, and in her own way she loved James, and doted on Amelia. She dismissed the child’s bad temper and outbursts of anger as totally understandable, “After all she had been through as a baby.”
They sold their houses and moved to the outskirts of Seattle where Eloise had worked for a few years. She didn’t know many people there anymore but felt comfortable and settled. It might rain a lot but compared to Alaska it was positively balmy.
James left most of the childcare to Eloise and spent much of the time sitting on his favourite chair reading and listening to the radio. He’d managed to tune into Radio Scotland and found himself becoming overly emotional hearing the commentary of an Aberdeen v Dundee United game.
‘I’m a silly sentimental old fool,’ he thought to himself. ‘I had a shitty childhood and I couldn’t wait to get away, but right now I’d do anything to see the grey granite streets of Aberdeen even in the horizontal rain.’
As he grew older, he thought more about his homeland. He would knock back a couple of whiskies every night and grow maudlin and homesick. After being off the booze for so long, it seemed as though he were making up for lost time.
Eloise rolled her eyes when he listened to ‘Flower of Scotland’ and drunkenly and tunelessly roared the lyrics out with tears in his eyes, frightening Amelia and making hercry. When James tried to soothe his daughter, she would wriggle in his arms and push him away, wrinkling her nose at the smell of booze on his breath. He felt rejected by her, and sometimes even jealous of the close relationship between Eloise and Amelia.
Instead of making more of an effort with his child, he shut down and turned to the bottle for solace and company. As she grew up, Amelia had given up trying to get his attention. She knew it was hopeless and so she hardened her heart.
