A washed-out, wispy young woman about half Liv’s age said in a surprisingly strong voice. “You don’t need to tell us anything if you don’t want to. We are all different and we’ve all done things we are ashamed of, but there’s no judgement here.”
Liv found herself welling up. She impatiently wiped her tears away, but knew she had found people who understood.
Six months on and she had a job working as a waitress in one of the old-fashioned bars in Kirkwall. She was all too aware that serving booze was putting her right in the way of temptation, but Liv was never going to go for the easy option. She saw it as one more test she needed to endure and overcome.
She had come a long way already. There were no more hangers-on using her home as a doss house in exchange for booze, drugs or sex, or a mixture of all three. Those days were gone.
Her old ‘friends’ had been incredulous at first, scoffing that she would never be able to stay clean and would soon grow bored and go back to her old ways. At first, some of them turned up at the bar to jeer and make fun of her.
One even ordered a pint and poured it all over the floor while looking at her right in the eye the whole time. The old Liv would have grabbed him by his long greasy hair and repeatedly banged his head on the wooden counter of the bar until it burst and bled. The new Liv simply mopped up the mess without a word.
She had also started to change her appearance. Gone were the thick heavy layers of mascara and black eyeliner. She had also stopped dying her hair blue-black and had cut it herself into a sort of pixie style that suited her thin face.
Going grey actually made her look younger and abandoning her former diet of fags, drugs, booze and coffee, she filled out a bit and no longer looked like a haggard spider.
Liv actually found she enjoyed her job. She felt smugly superior to the mumbling barflys and the giggling youngsters tipsy on sticky sweet cocktails. She’d half listen to their burblings, moans and drunken ramblings, take their money and even squirrel a few extra bob into her tip box. She hadn’t changed completely.
It wasn’t much of a life, but Liv discovered that the company she enjoyed best of all was her own. A night at home in front of her TV was enough.
She never let her guard down or let anyone in. There was a shield of glass around Liv that no one would ever be allowed to penetrate ever again. Or at least that’s what she told herself.
Chapter Sixteen
Tankerness
Evie was having lunch with Kate at The Kirk Gallery – it was one of their favourite places to go together, and it was good to get some one-on-one time with her school friend. The morning rain had lifted and now the sky was bright blue with a few fat fluffy clouds and just the right level of wind to hang out the washing.
Kate was very happy to leave her sheets drying in the breeze and have a catch up with Evie. It was a treat for them both to enjoy the tasteful surroundings of the beautiful converted church, filled with Sheila Fleet jewellery, and enjoy some of the best food on Orkney.
Evie had the famed fish soup and Kate the special pie of the day. Both knew no matter how full they were, they absolutely must have a large slice of homemade cake. The only dilemma was deciding which kind. Even while she was talking to Kate, Evie was eyeing the glorious cake table, torn between lemon drizzle and chocolate torte.
“Well go on then. What’s this Amelia like?” asked Kate. “What does she want? Give us all the goss.”
“She’s lovely,” said Evie. “Really friendly and keen to get to know everyone.” She was determined to be more positive about Amelia and push aside her early misgivings.
“So tell me more? What does she look like? What’s her story – is she retired now?”
“No, she’s more like our age. Her dad had her really late in life. Actually, she looks a lot like me – she’s a bit shorter, but she wears these giant high heels and her hair is really dark and not fair like mine.”
“Well, your hair is only that gorgeous shade of blonde because Agnes dyes it for you.”
“Thanks a bunch for that,” said Evie in mock outrage. “Although you’re right. If it wasn’t for Agnes, I’d be as grey as granite.”
“You would, Evie, but annoyingly you’d still look gorgeous. Anyway, never mind all the simpering stuff about her being lovely and friendly. This is me you are talking to you, so save all that for everyone else. What’s really going on? I can tell she’s rattled you.”
Evie sighed. “Well, as I told you, she’s here to find out more about her dad James and my granny Sheila and my mum, of course, but there’s not that much we can tell her. Everyone who would have known my granny Sheila is dead or dottled.”
“You know my mum has more bad days than good ones these days. I’ll be honest with you Kate, I’m not sure I want to risk Amelia upsetting my mum by asking questions about her past and especially about her dad. My mum never even met him. I mean he left before she was born. It could be really hard for her, and just make her even more confused.”
Kate nodded sympathetically.
Evie went on, “And, as you well know there’s a hell of a lot of skeletons in my family closet. My mum might blurt something out that could cause all sorts of problems.”
“I do understand that,” said Kate. “And you are right, she doesn’t need to visit your mum.”
“I know. I’m sure it will be fine. It’s just that she arrived so quickly after she got my email. I didn’t have time to prepare myself. I didn’t even have a photo of her. We didn’t do a Zoom or even talk on the phone and get to know each other a bit. It’s all been so fast.”
Evie wondered what Amelia’s life was like in the States, that she was able to just drop everything and fly straight to Scotland. It was frustrating that she knew so little about Amelia, and that how unwilling she was to share information about herself. She had told Evie she didn’t have many friends or family but what about a job or even where she was living? Was she running away from something?
