I don’t know why I don’t make it easy for her. She’s been through a lot, especially in the last week, and yet I keep pushing her. A part of me enjoys watching her struggle. But a stronger part relishes when she succeeds.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Her words throw me for a loop. Not at all what I expected.
“You don’t know what to do?” I repeat, making sure I heard her right.
She nods, then shrugs violently as her hands pull away from each other and fall to her sides in a small flourish. “Ever since I was little, all I did was dance. Even when I wasn’t moving, I was studying it, watching it, reading about it. Then, when….” Her voice flutters as she stalls to collect herself. “After my parents died, all I knew was to just keep going. Every second was pushed from dance into this.” She gestures to herself, and I raise an eyebrow in question.
“Survival,” she says with a slow exhale.
I nod, understanding instantly.
A moment hangs between us before she continues in a softer voice.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I’m not working and dance is no longer part of my life. Well,thatkind of dance.”
I ease back in my chair and run a finger over my lips as I think over her words. I never thought about it from her side before. I can think of a hundred things to do if I had a day off. Not that I get many. I could take them if I want, but I never find the need. Before Russia, I did whatever the fuck I wanted and got my shit done. Granted, my responsibilities were small compared to my other brothers.
After Russia, well, I didn’t want to rest. Proving to myself that I’m alive, not a liability, and able to do shit beyond fucking up is my sole purpose. I haven’t taken a day off since Vinny gave me my new job. Before that, after all the doctor visits to make sure I was healed, I kept myself busy with my female fighters. I have a few across the country, but my favorites live in Michigan.
But if I were given a day off, I don’t think I would travel to watch a fight. Sure, it has its enjoyments, but it’s still considered working.
What would I do with a true day off?
“I have a pool.”
She shakes her head. “Can’t swim.”
Not so surprising based on what she just told me. Ballet was her life, and I bet anything outside that was a no go. Either by her, her parents, or her dance instructors.
“Books?” I gesture to the shelves behind her.
She looks back, eyes roaming, but turns back with a shake of her head.
“Hmmm.” I think on it for a minute before an idea pops into my head. “Come with me.”
I lead the way out of my office and to the elevator, going up a floor. Her eyes widen, and I smirk. I doubt she realized there was more to this than just my place.
When the doors open, I take her past the free weights, treadmill, and elliptical bike, moving to the far side of the open area before the outdoor rooftop access to the room that’s made of glass.
I open the door, and the automated lights illuminate the spacious area. A sparring room for me and whichever brother joins me. Or a trainer. Sometimes even Dante comes over. It varies depending on my mood. But the best part? The mat can be lifted to reveal the pristine floors underneath.
With little work, I uncover half the floor before turning back to her as she watches from the door.
“It’s not much, but feel free to use any of the equipment out there and the space in here for.…” I scratch the back of my head. A sudden amount of anxiety and unease hit me. She was used to training in a proper school, not some small space with clean floors. I look it over and see if there’s a better space for her to go, but this is all I have to spare. It’s hardly anything compared to what I have for myself. It’s stupid to assume she’d be okay with it. I know it’s a bad idea before I can even voice it.
“Um, perhaps some TV.” I gesture for her to exit, already knowing this is a no for her, but she stops me with her hand.
Small fingers catch my wrist as I move to walk by her, and shedoesshake her head, but for a completely different reason.
“This is perfect. Thank you.”
I just nod for fear that I might scare her with how wide I want to grin at her words.
“It has a sound system by the wall.”
She gives me a small smile that radiates more than anything else in this place as she turns to the wall to pick a song.
