He shrugs noncommittally, as if he’s a teenager being scolded by his mother for staying up all night to play video games.
I look around once more, taking in everything he did.Hedid it. Not someone else. Sure, it was delivered by another person, but he brought it up here and set it all up. It might not seem like much, but to me it’s everything.
I shake my head as a small smile of awe blossoms on my lips. “I can’t believe you did this.”
He pushes off the doorframe and saunters closer. “I might not look it, but I know how to operate a drill and can put a few things together.”
I shake my head and smirk. “Yeah, but you did it for me.”
Another shrug as he gives me a small, genuine smile.
“You made breakfast.”
“But Ijustdid that. And it was nothing. It means nothing.”
He stops right in front of me, reaching up to push some hair behind my ear. But he doesn’t move afterward, just lets his hand stay there. I feel myself sway, wanting to push my cheek into his palm.
“It means a lot. To me.”
He’s so close, I could just pretend I got dizzy and my face collided with his to touch his lips on mine. It would be so easy.
“And for the record… I like you too.”
My eyes go wide before he grabs the back of my neck, bending it forward to grant him access to my forehead, where he places a kiss. A soft one that has me hyperventilating.
“I’m going back to bed for a few hours.”
And just like that, he leaves.
And I’m left with a dance studio and the urge to follow him like a lost little puppy, begging him for one more pet before he leaves me in the cold. Because I’m slowly realizingthat while I shouldn’t want to get close to Tommy, it’s exactly where I want to be.
But I don’t.
I stay and enjoy my gifts. Hours feel like minutes as I break in my new shoes. I had to go hunting for a few things in the kitchen to make the pointe shoes work. Despite what some might think, pointe shoes right out of the box are a crime to wear. But with a few rips and some fiber to taper off other areas, they work well enough. And yeah, I totally put on one of the new leotards as well. Perfect fit, like everything else he’s chosen for me.
After a while, my mind slips from the etiquette of dance to him. I’m in his home, surrounded by gifts on a day off. A day off I still don’t know if I deserve, but I know not to argue. What Carl tried to do to me was against everything that anyone should ever try to do to another person. It went against the laws of nature, even if so many in nature do it. Disgusting is what it is.
I shake my head to rid my mind of Carl and what happened. I’ve been able to compartmentalize my emotions for years. Ballet teaches you to always smile, even through pain and anger. Pushing my trauma into a box like I do everything else is easy. What’s left is the hard part.
Because Tommy isn’t someone you put in a box.
And when my thoughts are focused on him, I also think about what I owe him. What I want to do to make him proud.
And while he hasn’t asked for much from me in the last few days, he said that he eventually expects me to dance in the private rooms.
I grab my phone, and with a quick search, I see all sorts of instructional videos for dancing. Never found the time, nor did I really want to learn before this, slightly hoping that if I was never taught, I could avoid it.
But not anymore.
Exotic dancing. Lap dancing. How to get your man into you by dancing.
You think of it, and there’s a dance move for it. I wonder for a moment if this is how the other girls at the club learned, but I doubt it. Some just know how to use their body in that way. Others do it other ways.
Taking off the toe shoes, I grab the jazz shoes and place a folded chair from the weight room up against one of the walls.
With a change of music and a steady breath, I start to dance.
This time, I keep my eyes open as I watch and learn how to do things I was never taught. It takes an embarrassingly long time for my body to let go of the strict rules I trained to do for classical pieces. But when I finally do it, it’s almost freeing.
