“Of course, you don’t even need to ask!” he scoffs. “I’ll grab my laptop and come work in the living room while they play.
“You won’t get that much work done, they are a handful at…”
“I promise you, we will all be fine,” he smiles. “Go have some fun.”
I reply to Raya and rush upstairs to put on my sneakers. In front of the mirror, I brush my hair into a high, messy bun and can’t help but smile when I take in the dreary colors of my clothes. A pale grey t-shirt. Tan sneakers. Pale blue jeans. It’s like I was trying to fade away.
The mall is bubbling with people and conversation, and since we arrived, I haven’t been able to stop smiling. Raya and Sofie are both with me, and I swear I have never seen two girls shop as they do.
I happened to mention that I wanted to see if I could find a few more colorful things, and they have made it their life’s mission to achieve this goal.
I have handfuls of shopping bags filled with gorgeous tops, bright and loud, beautiful dresses, red jeans, and a beautiful bright green jacket.
I cannot wait to go out in my new clothes. Just having them in my hands already makes me feel more like the person I used to be… or maybe just like the person Iwantto be. A new person. A person who walks tall and isn’t afraid.
“Ok, but this one matches your eyes perfectly!” Raya says, holding up a green dress that glitters from every angle. It’s absolutely breathtaking.
“I have nowhere to wear something like that,” I protest.
“Oh, please. You can wear this while walking the dog or making dinner! Who cares where you wear it? Wear it everywhere.” She is already carrying the dress towards the change rooms. I laugh and follow her. The trying-on part is fun. I don’t have to get it. But there’s no reason why I shouldn’t see what it looks like.
It looksincredible. I look incredible.I turn again and again, taking in the girl standing in front of the mirror. She isn’t me. She’s this superhero version of me that is quite literally shining.
“Ok. We need that in green and in red. Both. Definitely,” Sofie says, staring at me with her mouth open and her eyes wide. “You lookso fucking gorgeous.”
I giggle, knowing there is no way I am going to protest buying the dresses. I’ve never felt more beautiful.
We have lunch at a cute little bistro with pink teacups and plates covered in flowers. It’s so girly and cute. We talk about everything from brothers to children to shopping to dreams. My heart is so full and happy being around them. I think to myself,this is what it’s like to have sisters. It’s something I always longed for.
After lunch, I gather my shopping bags, ready to head home, but Sofie scoffs. “We’re not done yet. We still need to stop at the lingerie shop.”
My cheeks glow pink instantly. “Oh, of course, are you getting something?” I ask.
“Not me,” she smirks. “You.”
“Absolutely not. What in the world am I going to do with lingerie?” I blurt out.
Raya slips her arm through mine. “You wear it, silly. Imagine wearing black lace underneath that green dress. No one even has to know it’s there. But you’ll know and trust me… you’ll feel powerful.”
I bite my lip, considering her words. Maybe I’ll get one set. All I’ve ever owned are cotton bras and panties. Practical. Boring. Comfortable. Safe. Bland.
The lingerie shop is overwhelming. I don’t know where to look, and I’m too shy to touch anything. Raya and Sofie are breezing around like they own the place.
Raya hands me a set of black lace bra and panties. “This is for day-to-day wear,” she explains. “And this is for when you want to feel like a goddess,” she says, pushing a red set into my hands, complete with suspenders and everything.
“Ray…” I stammer.
“Oh, shush and try it on,” she laughs.
“And the emerald set,” Sofie says, handing me lingerie that isn’t lace, but rather sheer fabric that wouldn’t hide a damn thing and serves practically no purpose other than to look pretty.
The lady in the store doesn’t even offer to help because Raya and Sofie clearly know what they are doing. They help me get the right size, swap the red set for a softer pink color, and boss me around, making me feel like I’m their dress-up doll.
And I love it. I love being fussed over, and I love the girl in the mirror whenever I turn to see how I look.
“Imagine that under your green dress,” Raya says with a grin.
“You’re right. I will feel like a goddess.”
