Kiss Eli <3
Ride on Eli’s Vespa
Tivoli Gardens
Visit Eli’s studio
And finally… and this one is pretty detailed.
Sex, sex, sex. Preferably against a wall (I’m not sure why my Eli sex fantasies always feature a wall and not a bed. Maybe it’s because I’m looking for something exciting, sex in an alley perhaps. I don’t question it too much — I just go with it.)
I almost ram right into a baby stroller. Thank god, I stop myself just in time, and shake my head. I really need to stop thinking about sex.
Following our bike ride, we sit on a bench for a while, and Eli tells me a little about the city. Adrenaline has been coursing through me all day, and I’m finally crashing. I’ve had two coffees but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
“Are you tired?” he asks. “You must be.”
“I don’t want this day to end,” I tell him. “But yes, I’m exhausted.”
“Let’s go home,” he says. The words coat me with unexpected excitement.
“I’d like that.”
He takes my hand, and I entwine my fingers in his. His hand is so much larger than mine, and also so warm, and rough. I love the feel of it, and I let the sensation soak in all the way to my core. I never want to let go. We walk in silence, and every once in a while, he turns to me and smiles, and I practically melt into the cobblestones. “I’m so happy you’re here, Gabriella,” he finally says. “I can’t tell you how much.”
“Probably as much as I am to be here,” I tell him.
He stops and turns to me. “But don’t feel like we need to… this isn’t about that.”
He’s talking about sex… obviously.
His gaze is glued to mine when he tells me, “I don’t have any expectations. I know it’s complicated with you and your husband, and you have kids… I don’t want to get in the middle of—”
“You don’t want me,” I blurt out, desperate. I hate that I sound so pathetic.
His gaze travels the length of my body, from my breasts, down the curve of my hips, all the way to my flats, and back up again, and stills when he reaches my eyes. He digs a hand softly in my hair and pulls a strand between his fingers. He stares at my mouth. “Uh… no, believe me,” he says, his voice not quite as soft as it usually is. “I want you.”
I feel light headed, and I almost reach for him. I so badly want to kiss those sensual full lips of his.
“But I also don’t want to ruin your life,” he adds and pulls away.
Come back.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“YOU WON’T,” I ARGUE. “You won’t ruin my life. My husband and I have an arrangement.”
He turns to walk again. “Sounds pretty complicated.”
I quicken my stride to be in step with him again.
“I don’t like complicated,” he says.
“Me either.”
We are both at a loss for words, swallowed up in the noise and energy of the city. I don’t know what to say. I understand what he’s getting at. I’m basically here for a week to fuck him, to use him, to entertain myself, to make it hurt less, to forget all about Amanda. I’m using Eli — it’s what I’m doing. Then, off I’ll go, back to my husband and kids and white picket fence (it’s actually black and wrought iron) but that’s essentially what I’m doing. I wonder if a small part of him hates me.
But I want him to know that it’s not just about that. I wouldn’t be going off and doing this with any man, sleeping with the first guy who asks. I’m only doing this because it’s Eli. He’s all I’ve been thinking about ever since the day we met. I dream about the feel of his skin on mine, the taste of his lips. I love everything about him. Do I love him? Because if I do, I definitely shouldn’t do this. There’s just too much at stake. When it comes to love, the heart is impossible to control.
