The hot water feels good on my hands, and it’s actually quite nice just chatting with Oscar about the day — we’re just friends, like we used to be. All my worries suddenly float away.
I let him finish cleaning up the kitchen, and I move to the bedroom. First, I gather all my things and pack them up, setting aside the clothes and items I’ll need for tomorrow on the flight back. I pick up Oscar’s things too, and lay them on top of his opened suitcase. When I grab his favorite grey sweater, the one with the big pockets, a small blue velvet box tumbles to the floor.
I pick it up, curious. I don’t open it. It’s ancient royal blue velvet — it’s obviously something old. I wonder if it could be for me. Maybe it’s for his mother. Could it be earrings? Or a necklace with a pretty pendant? My pulse races as curiosity gets the best of me.
I look over my shoulder before opening it. He’s still in the kitchen, cleaning. My heart pounds against my ribcage as I spring open the lid, and discover the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. It’s an antique sapphire gem set on white gold, circled by a myriad of tiny diamonds.
It’s perfect. Perfect for me.
My pulse races faster as I consider what this all means. This has to be for me. Who else would it be for? It’s crazy. It’s too fast.
I know we’ve grown closer. We’ve been friends-with-benefits for about three years now, and we’re both at the age to settle down. But I’m not ready.
What we have is so great… why mess with it? This could ruin everything. What happens if we get involved, and things don’t work out? We won’t be able to remain friends. I will have lost my best friend. And I’m not in a place in my life where I can lose my best friend. I often feel so unhinged… I need him to ground me.
We can’t do this.
I hear him shuffle around in the kitchen, and I hastily close the box and return it to the sweater. I carefully lay the sweater on his suitcase. Do I pretend I haven’t seen it?
I don’t know what to do. If I act like I’ve seen nothing, I’ll go crazy anticipating the moment where he pulls out the box and gets on one knee. And what if he doesn’t? I’ll be even crazier then. And I can’t say yes. What if he proposes in public surrounded by a hundred tourists? It will be super awkward and embarrassing if I say no. As difficult as it may be, I need to address this.
Oscar is all smiles when he pops into our bedroom. “All done,” he says, and my heart sinks. “Corrie is still stretched out in the living room, like the princess she is.”
I smirk. “She’s annoyingly lazy, but I still love her.”
He plops down right next to me on the bed, and makes the mattress bounce. I’m absentmindedly reading a French magazine. I’ve been waiting for him.
I set down the magazine. “Listen…”
“I didn’t know you could read French,” he says.
“A little,” I tell him. “I mostly just look at the pictures.”
He picks it up and flips through it.
“Listen, Oscar,” I start again. I don’t know how to say this… This is so awkward.
His gaze shoots up, and he instantly abandons the magazine. “What’s up?”
“Where are you taking me tomorrow?” I ask again. He’d said it wasn’t the Eiffel tower. I wonder if it’s a romantic garden… there are hundreds in this city. My app says it’s going to rain all day tomorrow… this proposal is doomed, in more ways than one.
He smiles widely. “It’s a surprise… I told you.”
“Listen…” I say, yet again. “I’m really looking forward to it, and I still want to go—”
“What do you mean… ‘I still want to go?’”
“I mean…” I blow out a long breath. This is so much harder than I’d imagined. “I mean…” I walk over to his suitcase, and fish the box out of the pocket of his sweater. “I found this.”
“Oh crap.” He throws his head in his hands. “I’m such an idiot. I should have hidden it better.” He looks up at me. “Did you open it?”
I wince, feeling guilty as sin. “I did… I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “So… what now?”
I sit next to him, the ring box in my hand. “Were you going to…”
“Propose?” he asks. “Yes. I was. I just bought the ring. I don’t know… maybe it was stupid. You know how impulsive I can be sometimes. It was stupid.”
