* * *
The movers arriveat ten o’clock in the morning as planned. Abe scrambles to welcome them, unsure of what to do.
“What should I do, Abby?” I know what he’s asking. He’s asking if he should stay, if there’s still a chance for us.
I’m on the spot. I don’t know the answer. Can we get past this? All those painful memories have now been brought to the surface. Can we face them together? Or should we leave them alone, and go on with our lives? Pretend those horrible things never happened? If we’re together, we’ll never be able to do that.
And can I get past the anger I feel toward him? If only he’d been stronger and spoken up, Izzie and Gavin would still be alive today. I know it’s not right, but a small part of me blames him for their deaths.
“I don’t know,” I finally manage.
His mouth turns downward. “You don’t want me to stay?”
“I think… I just…” I fumble for words. I struggle to explain all the doubts whirling around in my head. “I think there’s too much going on right now.” It pains me to say the words. “It’s… probably best if we’re apart.”
His whole body visibly slouches as he stares at the floor, refusing to face me. “Okay then…” he finally says and turns on his heel. He calls out to one of the movers he’d left waiting, and goes over the moving instructions.
I feel horrible. I’m already doubting my decision, but it was practically already made for me. The movers were here, ready to go. They’d have charged him anyway. It was a sign.
He doesn’t look at me once as he directs them and helps move boxes. I offer to help but he shrugs me away.
“What about the piano?” I ask, knowing how expensive it will be to move.
“It stays for now,” he tells me. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he scoffs. “Like work?”
He’s clearly upset, and I completely understand. I’ve basically just ended things between us. “I took the morning off.”
He shrugs and turns from me, and keeps working with the movers. I stand there for the longest time, just staring at him.
I’m in love with this man, and I’m letting him go.
When he glances up and catches my expression, he pauses for a long beat. He walks over and wraps me in a big bear hug. “I’m sorry. It’s okay… I get it.”
I cry into his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”
He squeezes me harder. “Not as much as I’ll miss you.”
