32
They say we remember the highs and lows of life. It’s very true. Who doesn’t remember their wedding day, a great vacation, their child’s birth?
And who could ever forget a friend’s death?
I remember everything about August 7th of that summer. The sky was blue and the air warm. I was high on life, madly in love. Life was almost perfect, save for the constant worry about Izzie, the sour taste it left in my mouth.
I was at the convenience store when I found out. I was buying a Kit Kat bar, a can of Coke and jujubes for Gavin. They were his favorite. I didn’t indulge too often in candy, but once in a while, I’d get a craving.
Karla and Kelly walked in, wearing matching cut-off jean shorts. Kelly wore a loose t-shirt with an image of a colorful owl. Karla had a skin tight pink tank top on, her breasts on display as usual.
“Hey, Abby,” Kelly thrilled. “What’s up?”
Wow, they’re talking to me… weird,I remember thinking.
“Not much,” I replied. “Just getting my junk food fix.”
Kelly’s eyes grew wide. “Did you hear?”
“Hear what?” I asked, curious.
“You didn’t hear?”
Whatever it was, it seemed like something very exciting, as far as Kelly’s expression went. Karla’s was more somber. I was confused, eager to be in the know.
“No… I didn’t hear. What?!”
Kelly’s mouth turned downwards. “Some kids found Izzie,” she whispered and following a long pause, she added, “She was dead in the woods.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. I stood frozen for what seemed like an eternity. I felt sick at the thought of Izzie’s bloody body in the woods. I was clammy and desperately needed to sit but there were no chairs nearby. I dropped my candy on the frozen treats freezer, pressed the palm of my hand flat against it, and let the cool sensation numb me. Who could have done this? My gaze darted around the store, scanned over the racks of potato chips. Doritos were Izzie’s favorite. My eyes jumped to the chocolate bars. Oh Henry! was what she would always get, while I was more of a Kit Kat fan. I’d always break off a stick of my bar for her, and she’d always give me a bite of hers. I stared at my stash of candy, not believing that we would never share treats again. Izzie would never eat again. She would never do anything again. She was just… gone.
I was brought back to the day I found out my mother was gone. All those old emotions and sensations were back; nausea, an eerie chill, confusion and fear. And most of all, anger. I’d been angry at my mother for doing what she had done, for leaving me. I’d also been angry at my father because, even at the tender age of nine, I knew he’d driven her to drinking. But most of all, I was angry at myself. Now, I didn’t know who to be angry with. Up until then, I had held on to the hope that she had just run away. Izzie was often impulsive that way. But with every day that passed, I became more and more concerned. I should have been prepared for this news. I should have known. Yet, it hit me like a wrecking ball.
Karla pressed a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay, Abby?” she asked. “I know you and her used to be good friends.”
“Used to…” Kelly chimed in. “They weren’t friends anymore,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Remember the fight they had on the bus?” Her words were accompanied by a dubious stare. She was implying something, but I didn’t catch on at the time, too wrapped up in shock, sorrow and confusion.
A million questions were whirling around in my head, but I couldn’t utter a single word. I was dizzy with shock as they both stared at me. I couldn’t even breathe properly. Images of Izzie’s dead body flashed in my mind, and all the while I gripped the edge of the freezer. Who could have attacked her? I thought of Roger Allen. He had a prior history and always creeped the both of us out. I thought of all the boys she teased, all the boyfriends she had. I even considered Simon, whom I knew had a serious crush on her.
“You hated her, didn’t you?” Kelly smirked. “You’re probably glad she’s dead. You were always jealous of her.”
What?
Not only did I not want to believe Kelly’s words, I also couldn’t believe the way she had delivered them. She had feigned shock and sorrow, but hadn’t seemed upset at all. All this time, I thought they were friends. Kelly was just excited to be smack in the center of shocking events. Karla, on the other hand, seemed genuinely upset.
I paid for my junk food, and stormed out of the store without a word. The doorbell clanged loudly behind me as I left. My heart hammered against my ribcage as I ran all the way to Gavin’s.
I bursted through the door, and finally let myself cry. When Gavin caught sight of me, he fell to his knees at my feet. He grabbed the stuff from my hands, and threw it on the floor. Then he held me close as I sobbed into his chest. The softness of his shirt is one of those sensations that will stay with me forever. I felt safe in his arms, despite the chaos around me. I wanted to stay there forever.
“What’s going on, Abigail?” he asked softly, in that sweet tone of his.
“They… found Izzie,” I managed to tell him between sobs.
He tore himself from me. “What? Where?”
“Some kids found her in the woods,” I told him, relaying the only information I had. “Dead.”
The word dropped a heavy weight at the pit of my stomach. Izzie was dead. She was gone forever. She’d never get married or have children. She’d never see the Eiffel tower like she dreamed of. She’d never become a hairdresser. She’d never leave this town.
