She smiles again. “Probably shouldn’t.”
A neighbor says hello, and then another. The room is aflutter with chatter, shared stories and memories of Judy. There is much love in this room, and it comes as no surprise because Judith Green was a wonderful woman.
My breath hitches when I see him walk in. He’s as beautiful as ever in a red button shirt, open at the collar, and slim grey pants. Our gazes meet, and for a brief moment, we are the only two people in the room.
He makes a beeline for me, and when he finally reaches me, he wraps me in his arms. I didn’t know I needed his embrace, but I did. It feels so comforting, but unfortunately, I can’t indulge in it for too long. We are surrounded by people. I reluctantly tear myself away.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he says quietly. “I know what she meant to you.”
“It’s your loss too.” My gaze darts across the room. “I guess it’s everyone’s loss.”
His mouth is a straight line, and his striking eyes are somber.
“Thank you for the roses,” I say. "They’re beautiful.”
“It’s the least I could do. She was such a wonderful teacher.”
Andrew and his wife come and say hello, and we are drawn into small talk once again. I spot Christian and Emily at the treats table, getting their fill. They’re both smiling widely, seemingly having temporarily forgotten where they are. The sight of them brings a smile to my lips. They are so precious. That’s the beauty of children.
I haven’t eaten a thing myself, and can’t imagine doing so. I haven’t eaten in days, nothing but bananas and tea. The pain is still too raw.
Heartfelt speeches follow. Judy’s kids share cherished memories, as does a childhood friend, an elderly lady named Edith. I say a few words too, all choked up. And Colton also reminisces about long-ago days, when she taught him everything he knows about piano. Colton is the last to speak, and his short speech is followed by a flawless piano rendition of one of Judy’s favorite songs. There’s not a dry eye in the room when he’s finished.
The evening eventually dies down, the crowd slowly dissipating. Goodbye hugs and parting words fill the space. I busy myself stacking chairs.
“Can I do anything to help?” Colton asks.
I glance over at Judy’s kids who are also very busy winding things down. “Thanks so much for offering, but I think we’ve got it.”
Cassie holds a tray of uneaten food. “What do we do with these sandwiches?”
“Give them to Julie,” I tell her. “She’s taking all the food home.”
Cassie’s gaze darts from Colton to me, and back again. “Are you two going somewhere after this?”
I glance over at Colton, who’s as speechless as I am. “Uh… no,” I finally manage. “I’m taking Christian home.”
“I can look after Christian if you want,” Cassie offers, a hint of a smile on her lips. I know exactly what she’s up to. We’re all grieving — has she no shame?
“We could go for coffee and talk,” Colton suggests.
I’m brought back to that embrace. As much as it pains me, I need him. I need to talk to someone who knew her well too. And Christian loves it when auntie Cassie babysits him. She’s much more fun than Mom. “Uh… maybe.”
She smiles. “It’s a plan then. I’ll take Christian home right now. He looks tired.”
I glance over at Christian, who is plopped down on a chair, staring at the lights on the ceiling. Yes, he definitely needs to go home.
I kiss him goodnight, and Cassie whisks him away.
Colton helps me with the chairs. Before long, Julie comes by and tells us to call it a night, says she and her siblings have it all under control. She thanks us again for all our help, and sends us on our way.
Colton helps me into my fall jacket, and I turn to him and bury myself in his chest. I fall into sobs… I have no control whatsoever over my emotions. I’ve been strong, and have held my emotions in all night. They finally escape me as I find myself in his arms. He doesn’t say a word, just holds me tightly like I need to be held. It’s just the two of us in the dark coat room, and this moment is perfect. Perfect until Andrew walks in.
“So sorry,” he says.
I wipe the tears off of my cheeks. “No worries, Andrew. We were just going.”
He thanks us again as Colton leads me outside, out into the chilly night.
“You’re in no condition to drive,” Colton tells me. “I’m taking you home.”
I nod in agreement, and follow him into his dark Escalade.
I’m numb and stare ahead into the night as he takes off. “Take me to your place,” I say. I don’t quite know what the words mean exactly, I just know that I want to be with him tonight.
“Yes,” he says simply, and we ride the rest of the way in silence.
