“Then what’s with your new enigma gig?” I demanded.
“You want it straight?” he asked.
“Always,” I retorted.
He then gave it to me straight.
“You and my boy are in love. And when shit that is not supposed to come between you comes between you because one of you is fucked in the head, and the other hasn’t figured it out yet, things, like they are right now, get messy.”
Although I did realize I needed to figure things out, I had to admit, everyone telling me I needed to figure it out was beginning to get on my nerves.
“I can’t say I don’t feel deeply for him, Brady. And I know he feels the same for me. But that was then, and after screwing up, both of us, we’re finding our way to what will be now. Something that’s healthier for both of us and a lot of people we care about.”
At least that was what I hoped we were doing.
“If you say so.”
Now he was ticking me off.
I didn’t feel like being ticked off.
I felt like eating my sandwich, going home and deciding whether I was going to let it go and allow Cheyenne to burn it out, or go over to Raye’s and tell her that I had a feeling Cheyenne was following me, then create a strategy around what to do about it.
So I moved to put a line under it.
“You’re right, I’m in love with him.”
Brady’s head cocked sharply to the side.
And I remembered what Jessie said earlier in the day.
“He showed me that, gave me that, then he took it away. No discussion. No going to our corners and cooling off. One second, we spent every minute with each other when we didn’t have to be doing something else. The next, he told me who I had to be for him, or that I needed to walk out his door. I’m me. I can’t be anything other than me, even if I love a pretty awesome guy. If he wants me to be other, I just can’t do it. More, he shouldn’t ask me to. And if he can’t discuss important issues with me, I can’t do that either. I walked, Brady, and he didn’t back down. He didn’t rethink what he’d said and come to me to discuss it. He didn’t call. He didn’t text. I walked, but it was Knox who let me go.”
I took a deep breath because this was all kinds of no fun to relive, and kept at him.
“It hurt enough the first time, I couldn’t go through it again. And now, through that hurt, I’ve done stupid shit that’s getting in the way of your relationship with him, not to mention Gemma.”
I let that hang, in case he wanted to slide something in there.
He didn’t.
Per usual.
“But he and I did eventually talk,” I reminded him. “He told me he wanted me in his life. He wanted me to be his friend. He wanted us to figure that out. I agreed, then I blew it. Now, he’s been shot and I have to instigate damage control. For me, and it appears, for the two of you.”
“You let me handle my shit with Knox,” Brady ordered.
“Your call, but are you hearing me?”
He seemed torn, like he wanted to say something, and when he spoke, what he said wasn’t what he wanted to say.
“I’m hearing you, Loon.”
I gave him a small smile. “I’ll miss flirting with you. You’ve kept my skills sharp.”
He shook his head, a small smile on his mouth too, and he reached for a truffle fry.
“We’re gonna get through this,” I told him.
