“I know. And it wasn’t any of the things we did. It was just being with him. He makes me feel interesting and beautiful, which is weird because he’s literally surrounded by beautiful women all day long. Everyone out there’s so gorgeous and rich. I thought I’d feel insecure, but he was so attentive I didn’t have a chance to. As you know, we’ve been texting and talking on the phone every night. I’m not sure how it happened, but he’s suddenly a huge part of my life.”
“And that’s a problem?” Reese asked. “Because he seems pretty smitten with you too.”
Mauve split off a piece of the muffin but didn’t bring it to her mouth, just stared at the oozing blueberries. “There’s no way this can work. Not with our lifestyles and our work. I know that, yet I can’t stop daydreaming of what it would be like if he could stay.”
“Or you could go?”
Mauve took another sip of her latte. “I don’t know if that’s what he wants. We agreed to just thirty days of fun. After that, we return to our real lives.”
“Do you know what you want?”
“Yes, I’m quite clear on that. I want to get married and have a baby.” To her dismay, tears pricked at her eyelids.
“Oh, okay. I didn’t know that. You always said you were unsure. Given your family stuff.”
“I know. But I’m not unsure any longer. Maybe it’s the time clock ticking away. I’ll be thirty-five next month. If I want a baby, I have to do it now. Or freeze my eggs.” She grimaced. “I really didn’t want to be the person who had to freeze their eggs because no man wants me.”
“That’s not true.”
“My husband didn’t want me.”
“He was a toad. Still is, I’m sure. I’m just thankful he’s not your toad any longer.”
“I am too, actually.” She broke another piece of muffin off and this time popped it in her mouth, chewing as she thought about how much to admit to her friend or to herself. “It’s funny because I never thought I’d love anyone like I loved Chris. But now that I’ve met Jason, I see how wrong I was. Chris never got me like Jason does. You should have seen him yesterday with Ollie. If I wasn’t in love with him before, yesterday sealed the deal.” She described how Jason had jumped right in with Ollie, teaching him the song in sign language and explainingeverything so well. “It touched my heart in a way nothing ever has before.”
“I know that feeling. That’s how I felt when Roan and the kids did their dance last year. I was a puddle.”
“I remember.” Mauve smiled at the memory of Roan and the four teens dancing to “All I Want For Christmas” on the stage at La Danza.
“Have you told Jason how you feel?”
“Kind of. I told him the other night that I didn’t want him to go. That he was the type of man I wanted, if only he lived here.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He launched into this whole thing about how he wasn’t husband/father material and that his work was super important to him. I mean, what else would I expect him to say? Still, it stung. But he has a life. A real life to go back to. And I’ll just be the girl he enjoys seeing when he comes to town.”
“I think it’s more than that for him too,” Reese said. “Bottom line—you need to decide how much you’re willing to give up to be with him.”
“What if I gave up everything to be with him, and then he leaves me? I don’t think I can start over again. My divorce almost killed me. To have the man I love betray me or abandon me again? It might really finish me off this time.”
“You’re strong. You would be fine. But I understand. I also know how it feels to love a Hayes twin. Once you do, it’s impossible not to.”
“What do I do?” Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. She was too sad to care if anyone saw her crying.
Reese reached across the table to squeeze her wrist. “Listen to me. You’re a catch. Any man who meets you knows that. And if Jason doesn’t see how perfect you are together, then he isn’t for you. However, I don’t think you’re giving him or yourselfenough credit. Marriage is about compromise. I certainly didn’t think I’d be raising two teenage boys. But it’s what Roan wanted, and so I wanted it too. I have no regrets by the way. Those boys have made my life so much richer.”
“You’re a good mother to them.”
“I try. But my point is—where you live isn’t as important as who you live with.”
“Do you really think I should go with him? If he asks, that is.”
“I think you two should make a compromise. If you really want to be together, you’ll figure out a way. Your job right now is to keep your heart open. Don’t doom this before it even has a chance to blossom. Jason and Roan went through a lot when they lost their mother. Neither was ever the same after that. It’s made them reluctant to love someone as much as they loved their mom. He may not even know that’s true, but I can see it. All this stuff about not being husband and father material is simply fear. Nothing real. Just be patient. I’ve known Jason and Roan a long time, and I’ve never seen him like he is with you. Jason, that is.” She chuckled. “Roan’s all mine.”
A text buzzed from Mauve’s phone. She dug it out of her purse.
Jason
