He was quiet for a moment before saying, “It kind of breaks my heart.”
“What does?”
“Your tone. When you talk about family. Reminds me of myself when I talk about my mom.”
“The Hayes clan is hard to compete with,” Mauve said. “Maybe I over-romanticize it, but I’d love to be part of a big, messy family.”
“We are messy, that’s for sure.”
“What was your mom like?” Mauve asked.
“She was an angel. Sweet. Patient. Super funny. Not only did I love to make her laugh, I lived to make her laugh. She worked full time as a teacher, so she relied on Aunt Grace more often than she liked. She was proud about things. She aimed for independence, but Aunt Grace always wore her down. She’d tell her that we were family and family is there when you need them.”
“It’s so good Grace was there for your mom. Teaching can be so very time-consuming.”
“True, but Mom still found time on the weekends and summer break to work at the country store. This was before Max bought it, obviously. My mom loved working there, even though she didn’t make much money. She knew everyone who came in and could remember details about each of them. She’d ask after someone’s sick mother or how the job hunt was going or whatever they’d mentioned to her the last time they were in the store. Everyone, and I mean everyone, wanted to talk to her. Bear their souls. She was a great listener.”
“Were she and Grace close?”
“Best friends. Grace took it really hard when we lost her. Or that’s what my cousins told me. Roan and I took off right after high school graduation.”
“That must have been so hard.”
“It was. We were both numb with grief. I can’t remember much about the years after she died. I went to college and got myacting degree and everything, but I always felt slightly removed from reality. Almost like I was playing the part of the country boy who wanted to be a Hollywood actor.”
“What got you out of it?”
“Time. Having Roan close by helped a lot too. As long as I had him, I still had part of my family. The three of us—Mom, Roan, and me—as close as we were to Uncle Walter’s family, were a team from the very beginning. It had never occurred to Roan or me that our beautiful, funny mother wouldn’t live into old age. She was always healthy and active. No one, including her, knew she had a heart condition. One day she didn’t wake up. And that was it. She was just gone. Roan and I were brokenhearted. Still are, even though time’s lessoned the acuteness of it.”
“Does it feel strange to be here after all the time that passed since you left?”
“You know, it did last Christmas. A bit of the prodigal son returns type of thing. But this visit feels different.”
“How come?”
“Might have something to do with the prettiest girl in town agreeing to spend time with me.”
She laughed, despite the stab of pain to her chest. “I’m sorry about the other night.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I felt like I said too much—about how much I wished you would stay or whatever it was I confessed to you like an idiot.”
He reached across the console to take her hand. “You’re not alone in this. Every day I’m with you … it seems more and more impossible that you won’t be in my life after this month.”
She nodded, her eyes stinging. “I don’t know if this is a good idea. Spending all this time together. Isn’t it just making it harder?”
“Probably. But I can’t stay away from you. Since you came out to L.A., you occupy more than your share of room in my head and my heart.”
She held her breath, unsure what he would say next.
She needn’t have bothered. His phone, connected to the car’s Bluetooth, pinged with a message. The car’s automated voice, smooth and pleasant and oblivious, read the sender’s name aloud through the speakers.
Message from Frankie Munn.
Hey, just thinking about you and wondering how it’s going out there in the wilds of Vermont. Did you kiss a cow yet?
The voice paused, with that small mechanical chime between messages.
